Since I started paying attention to it, I'm finding the whole concept of trends in interior design/home improvement bemusing.
Did you know vertical blinds (like the ones in my living room picture window that I'm looking at *right now*) are horrible! ugly! and OUTDATED!!? I didn't. I mean, they came with the house, and they aren't the prettiest things in the world, and they're pretty dingy at this point because they came with the house, they're old, but they keep people from being able to stare right into my house while I'm watching TV, so I kinda figured they're serving their purpose. But now I'm feeling horribly self-conscious about them, like my neighbors drive/walk by them every day and shake their heads, wondering when the hell we're going to get out of the 80s. This is probably why the soccer moms don't steal my packages--they strongly suspect my taste is iffy and I wouldn't have anything they want.
Anyway, I fail to see why vertical blinds are any more intrinsically ugly than horizontal blinds or goddamn "Roman shades", other than that they are identified as being something that everyone put in their houses circa mid-80s to early 90s. And about those Roman shades, the ones I told you I bought last week? Cannot figure out how to put the fuckers up. Not only do the brackets that came with them bear little to no resemblance to the ones pictured in the instructions such that I can't even tell what direction I'm supposed to install them in the window frame, but even without attaching the brackets to anything, I cannot figure out how the shade would hook on to them. So now they're in a closet, waiting for either one of my smarter friends to come over and show me the light or my brain to start working better. (I've been not feeling well, and I think it's made me stoopider than usual; that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.)
So in lieu of putting the shades in my dedicated massage room, I decided to cover up the shades that are already in there with some sheers. (There are already my favorite valances in the world in there: bronzey-brown velvet with dangly beads [shut up] from Target 5 years ago.) Because I just bought a new accent chair to go in that room which is brown with light aqua, I figured the sheers should be aqua-ish blue. Did Target have some? Why, yes they did. Except they had three. Since you really need two for each window, I could not figure out why the fuck they would have an odd number left in the store. But, anyway, I bought the three they had and figured I could buy one more online. But, alas, no. They do not carry that particular curtain in that color and length on the website. I have one sheer on each of the two windows right now and I think it looks retarded. I'm thinking this means I need to go on a field trip to the next few closest Targets to me and try to find one more. If that doesn't work, I'm sending you all out to *your* Targets to search for me; be on alert!
I know, I know. I don't write anything for a week and then this is the best I can do? It's a pity.
xoxo
2 comments:
There are people down the street who have a look that I would like to see on any rate my space programme. Let's start with the steel bars on all the first floor windows, then move on to the six beige Caddies, one beige Jaguar, and one beige Lincoln parked on the street so no one can get close to the house. I can understand a colour fetish, but beige???
Oh! You have high-level drug dealers in your neighborhood! Do they have some beige pitbulls too? :-)
Unfortunately, I can't throw stones too far on this without hitting my own famiy, because my dad had, at one point in my formative years, three consecutive white cars. I have no idea why. The next two cars would probably have been white too had my mom and I not finally intervened.
(And you're only being brave and commenting because you know your Target and my Target are the same Target, so you're off the hook when I send my readers out looking for that last curtain for me. I know how these things work.)
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