i *know*

I'm the blogging equivalent of can't-shut-up cell-phone woman! Don't worry. It'll pass. Meanwhile...

1.) Commercials I have seen while drinking my coffee this morning. Credit card commercial wherein a woman keeps redecorating her living room and finding it disappointing, until she realizes her problem is her husband sitting on the sofa. She "redecorates" him with new clothes and all is well. I hate this. It's so disrespectful. Next, a commercial from the (you can't make this shit up) high fructose corn syrup people reminding us their product is made from lovely, healthy, all-natural corn, is nutritionally just the same as sugar, fine in moderation, and therefore is not Obesity and Diabetes in a Jar. So don't worry! Finally, SAM-e, an herbal supplement that will cure my bitchy, bitchy moods. Yeah, okay, let me know when you invent herbal klonopins, kthxbai.

2.) I'm watching this landscaping show where the homeowners must get rid of the cacti, rosebushes, and blackberry vines in their lovely backyard because omfg, they have a toddler and she might hurt herself. You know what? If little Precious gets a cactus thorn in her lil hand, she will quickly learn not to touch them again. Cause and effect is a wonderful thing to learn at a tender age. I'm all for babyproofing that calls for removing potentially *fatal* hazards. But worrying that Sweetie might get a booboo? Give me a fucking break. (I hope the potential parents of my theoretical future step-grandchildren aren't reading this, because I'm never gonna get to babysit, am I? Goddamn it.)

3.) Wishlist. I saw a picture of someone's beautifully restored and remodelled 1920's bathroom with gorgeous clawfoot tub, beadboard on the bottom of the walls and paint above, no tile. I had such bathroom envy I could hardly stand it and I realized why: that's the kind of bathroom I grew up with (not gorgeously remodelled of course) and some part of me still thinks that's how a bathroom should look. I also think my ideal (retro) kitchen would have a separate pantry, like the one I grew up with. Also, a deep double sink that you can bathe a baby in. I see these $20,000 bathrooms and $40,000 kitchens with the steam showers and the granite and the whatever and while I can appreciate that they are often pretty and always fancy, I don't think that even if I had the kind of money to do that, that it would be what I want.

xoxo