I come downstairs this morning and D has MTV Cribs on. They're doing a countdown of the most expensive homes on their show, but that's not my point. My point is, the one I caught is Mr Ice T's residence. Two things. He has a vending machine. He says, "You know how your friends come to your house and rummage through your cupboards and eat all your cookies? You send 'em down here. 'You want some Skittles? It's a buck. Stop beggin'.'" Oh, that just cracked me up. At 7am at least. Secondly? I may have referenced that I have in my closet at least two versions of my completed (sucky) novel, i.e., paperweight. But back when I actually had fantasies that it would ever see the light of day, by which I mean "Borders", and I was casting the movie in my head, as you do, Ice T was The Captain. (Have I made enough humiliating admissions in here this week? Well, it's a new week actually.)
And then a commercial comes on for the Universal Training Institute. Yes, also known as UTI. Are these assclowns serious? We all want to mention our alma mater and have people's thoughts wander to memories of pissing blood, right? If you're going to open some fly-by-night "career college" at least put a little more effort into the whole scam than that. Your suckers, er, students, may have GEDs, but I bet they've also had bacteria in their urethras at some point too.
xoxo
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