i squatted, bitches, PLUS bonus sundry

1.) Yes, yes, Liz taught me to squat today, in the rack or cage or whatever the hell you call it and everything. Okay, only the barbell, which is 45 pounds, but I'm a 47 year old 115 pound woman, WHAT MORE DO YOU EXPECT???? It's harder than you might think, because there are all these steps to remember to do it right: make sure the bar is centered, stick your butt out like you're going to sit, then squat, go at least to a 90 degree angle but don't go over your toes, and do it all in a fluid motion. I think I felt my balls growing even as I did it. (Have I mentioned lately that I crack myself the fuck up? No?) Maria esta muy macha! Then later when I was doing my dumbbell curls and standing shoulder presses, one of the big muscular regulars who was resting between sets of grunting over ridiculously big weights said to Liz (of me), "She's got good form already. I was watching her the other day." Liz said something along the lines of well, of course I do, because she's teaching me the right way. The guy says, "Yeah. Start 'em out light and correct." I wanted to say, "What are you calling 'light', pal? I'm a 47 year old 115 pound woman, WHAT MORE DO YOU EXPECT????" Heh. However, I did not, as I had dumbbells to lift. No time for chitchat, yo.

2.) So then I went to give M2 the massage I owed her that I could not give her last week. And, on the way there, what did I see on the train but a woman wearing my (in)famous autumn leaves coat! It's really weird owning a garment that is so distinctive that other people always remark on it, then seeing it on someone else, lemme tell you. However, the good part of it was that the other woman had to be my age or even a bit older, so I am somewhat reassured that this coat is in fact awesome on me rather than ridiculous. You know I worry about some of my more out-there fashion choices.

3.) D sucked me into watching The Biggest Loser last night. Two things. He was watching it while eating Oreos and drinking milk. I found this amusing. I went and put a bowl of blueberries on the coffee table, and told him that I thought you were supposed to be eating healthy snacks whilst watching 400 pound people losing weight. Secondly, this show pisses me off so much. The premise seems to be that these people are responsible for how much weight they are losing in the competition, which makes no sense. They're eating what they are given--there are no exposes of contestants sneaking out to eat HoHos or anything--and doing the workouts they are told to do. If they don't lose or don't lose "enough" by the ridiculous standards set forth, I think that's on whoever is figuring out their diet and exercise plans which ain't them. The show seems to get around that by convincing them, and supposedly us, that the people who lose the most each week are the ones who are putting in the most effort at their workouts. Bullshit. It doesn't work that way. I mean, if someone sneaks off and takes a nap instead of running on the treadmill, yeah, okay, but that's not what's happening. Someone who runs till they puke isn't gonna necessarily lose two more pounds than someone who runs until they *almost* puke. (Well, discounting the volume of the puke, I guess.) Secondly--and as someone who spent most of her summer working on losing weight, I know this--weight loss isn't linear. You can do the exact same things for three weeks, lose one week, lose nothing or even gain the next week, and then lose a crapload the third week. Your body lets go of the fat when it's good and ready to, and there's nothing you can do about it, but keep plugging away and wait for it to decide it's time to dump the fat. So, anyway, I was ranting at the TV. I much prefer D's other favorite show, Hell's Kitchen. The morons on there deserve Gordon Ramsey yelling at them.

Okay, that is all.

xoxo