everlong

We had a meeting this afternoon with D's case manager (cougar L) to go over, and sign, the service plan for next year. (I don't know exactly why I sign it, as well as he, since he's his own guardian. Just, I guess, to say I was present at the meeting.) Anyway, digressions aside, the reason that the yearly comes up at the beginning of August, is that July 27th is D's anniversary date. Two years and two days ago he was discharged from the hospital, with his shiny new diagnosis and his shiny new services.

How do I know that so exactly? I know it because I still have his plastic hospital bracelet. Yeah, I know. Keeping it is probably sicker than buying a human-heart-shaped lamp made out of leather, but we all deal with pain in our own way, no?

We talked a little bit about that in the meeting: about how two years out of the hospital is a long time, about how many, many people who are as sick as D was aren't able to make it that long without relapsing, and about how a lot of the credit for that D could take himself, for being so compliant with his treatment and working on his recovery. What did I say in here the other day, about believing the worst of times are over? I do; I guess I've admitted to myself that I do. But y'know...everlong.

Most people relapse. Even on treatment, most people do. On the gold-standard we-give-it-to-you-only-when-nothing-else-works drug D is on? Maybe not so much, but there's still the possibility. So, yeah, you've seen me in here worrying about that too of late. Anniversaries do that to me. I get even more introspective, pensive, stuck in my head, than usual.

It's been the anniversary of a lot of things in July. Don't worry. Two more days and the month will be over and I guess I can go back to bitching about the Red Sox.

xoxo