don't believe it

There is no such thing as idiot-proof. I would swear floridly, but I already did that earlier. So insert your own obscenities into this story. (Or not, if you want to keep it G-rated.)

I had three different sets of instructions for this faux-finishing I was planning on doing. They varied in minor ways from one another, but most of the general principles were the same. Last night after work, I proceeded to scrub down my bedroom walls, since I hadn't gotten to that earlier in the week, moved some of the furniture out, vacuumed in there a little, and in general, got ready to work on the walls this weekend. Then I started ripping up and crinkling craft paper and sorting it into "ends" and "middles". I was crumpling until about 1 am and I don't thin I got through a half a roll of paper. My back and my hands were killing me. I took some Aleve and went to bed.

Since I was up so late, needless to say, I didn't get a super-early start this morning, and I had a few other things I had to do, but by this afternoon I was back to crumpling. By 3:30 or so, I felt ready to start pasting. I looked at my three sets of instructions. One of them, the first one I had run across on the internet, that gave me this idea to begin with, told me to thin out my paste with water, 1:6. Okay. I did. I started my mosaic-ing. I had about a quarter of a wall done when it became very clear to me that, um, the paper too wet and was not adhering. Apparently thinning out the paste was *not* the way to go. [insert the obscenities here] I ripped it all down, rewashed the wall, and went on a run to the evil WalMart for more wallpaper paste since I had wasted 2/3rds of mine. [insert more obscenities]

To cut to the chase, I then worked for about three straight hours and got a half (of the biggest) wall done. No way am I going to finish this by Sunday. And I am going to need even more paste. They don't sell it in big buckets in WalMart or Home Depot, and the little tubs go fast. [insert a few more obscenities, if you wish] The wall looks kind of nice, though, and interesting, even before being sealed. Pray the non-thinned paste holds and it doesn't all fall down tonight while I'm sleeping. Because you don't want to hear those obscenities. Trust me.

xoxo