more media toxicity

I bought an InStyle magazine today while I was out doing my errands. As women's magazines go, InStyle isn't usually very toxic. Mostly it just makes you--by which I mean me--want to be a good consumer and go out and buy shit, with lots of pictures of pretty clothes and shoes and jewellery and household goods. Well, it succeeded once again in its mission, because now I'm really really sure that I want some white jeans to wear with my awesome Kork-Ease platforms this summer.

But there was also this unbelievably horrid feature on "one month to wearing a bikini." Starting out, four weeks out, with what weight-lifting one should be doing to maximally perkify everything, which...not so bad, right? I guess a lot of people can identify with the impulse to step up one's workout routine in anticipation of wearing skimpier summer clothing. But then things devolve, with detailed instructions on what you can and cannot eat or drink a week, 2 days, or the day of the beach so OMFG you don't bloat! Don't swallow air! Get a body wrap (even though it costs probably $100 and last 48 hours)! Self-tan x number of days before so your skin will be perfect!

All this effort for one trip to the pool or beach. What if you go every weekend? Do you spend all summer sans carbonated beverages, chewing gum, and salt, and spend thousands of dollars on skin care just so the other people on their lounge chairs aren't traumatized by your less than absolutely perfect body? And, oh boy, you'll be having fun too, as you spend every second in your bathing suit wondering if the bagel you slipped up and ate is making your stomach OMFG totally gross.

And you men wonder why women like me have so much lingering fuckedupedness about our bodies. I can read this crap now and roll my eyes, and even work up an outraged blog entry, but this is exactly the kind of sick shit that kept me at age 20, all 116 pounds, flat stomach and perky boobs, from ever taking off my shorts at the beach.

Feh.

xoxo