Friday, April 11, 2008

in the mags

So, I learned a couple things from a woman's magazine today.

"Canadian researchers recently found that women are more than twice as likely as men to have sexual dreams about celebs." I kind of laughed to myself when I read that because, as those of you who have been following my emotional life for some time may remember, back in the fall of 2006 I was convinced I had completely and permanently lost my sex drive and that I would never have a sexual thought again. And then I had that amazingly erotic dream about Anthony Kiedis licking my stomach (in a hotel anteroom) and I woke up thinking, "Yeah, baby! I'm back!" So I am a data point in favor of this being, y'know, plausible. The fact that this is explained by the contention that we all feel like we know celebs closely and personally and women like to have sex with people they feel they know intimately, perhaps not so plausible. I'm excited grant money is being spent on answering these crucial questions, though.

Secondly, "a healthy portion of potato is about half of one, baked." Now, I have at least a couple of male friends who when eating with me often remark that I don't eat much. I disagree, but I mention it to underscore that I don't have some incredibly huge appetite. And even I know that half a baked potato is not a friggin serving. C'mon now. This is exactly the kind of crap these quack nutritionists push on women, who then eat these incredibly tiny and unrealistic amounts of calories, which leads to a.) their metabolisms slowing down and b.) binge eating, because you can only go so many days or weeks eating a half a baked potato and a 3" by 4" piece of baked chicken and calling it dinner before you're eating a pint of Haagen Daz in front of the freezer at 10 pm. I don't care, it's crap like this that's causing the "obesity epidemic." Well, that and high fructose corn syrup.

xoxo

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

On point two: I was astounded when visiting a nutritionist years ago that he showed me what he said was a standard portion size and I thought "You've got to be freakin' kidding me". I mean, we're talking something the size of a small scoop of ice cream.

Which may be sufficient for ice cream, but for protein and vegetables????

Of course guys don't pay nearly as much attention to that sort of thing and they're also part of the wave of obesity... although all ages and genders are being subject to too much high fructose corn syrup (and quite possibly the wrong intestinal microbes). However, your point about slowing metabolisms due to decreased intake for those who do so... Absolutely. At some point it probably becomes entirely counter-productive.

Point one: there may be some truth to the objective data about sexual dream subjects--though I wonder who women dream about in societies that don't have media created remote celebrities? And you may guess that those people who are reporting the subjects of their dreams to sex researchers are a unusual self selected (heck, I'm lucky if I remember anything about my dreams an hour after I've woken up).

However, the second idea is just so much mental masturbation. How do those researchers have a clue about why women are dreaming about that, or anything else? That's pure speculation based on current societal views of women's sexuality--which has no more basis then Victorian society's specious assumption that "normal" women weren't sexual at all. Has no more actual data to back it than any of that other just-so stories that are propounded by "evolutionary" psychologists and their ilk: Whatever's going in in our western society at the present time is biologically determined, not just a product of long cultural development. That normal people have two arms and two legs is evolutionary. Cultural and societal behavior... show any solid evidence other than the behavior itself, it's pure circular reasoning otherwise.

Craig H said...

Any self-respecting appreciator of FOOD knows that one potato is like one beer. Completely agreed that having less than a full one is heresy. And I'd further like to point out that such things are packaged in larger quantities for a reason--beer to be complemented by pretzels, and potatoes by copious quantities of butter and cream.

malevolent andrea said...

I'm glad you guys agree that considering half a potato a serving is a crime against nature. And I'm not exactly what these quack nutritionists suggest as a topping for the potato, but I'm fairly sure it's not copious amounts of butter. Probably more like nonfat sour cream. And I'm sure we can all (well, okay, me and Mr Barma) also agree that nonfat dairy products are not just a crime against nature but an abomination.

And Mr Indemnity? I can almost guarantee that if you had a dream about Anthony Kiedis licking your stomach, you'd remember it for more than an hour ;-)

Anonymous said...

Did you ever consider that perhaps I'm happier not remembering my Anthony Kiedis centered dreams? ;)

There are definitely dreams that are better left unexamined.