1.) I was kinda thinking this morning, in mentally rehashing my week, that I have been condescended to more in the last three months than at any time since probably 1989. I'm angry about that. I mean, you people know why this is one of the buttons that is easily pushable in me, my having detailed it ad nauseum. However, just because I'm aware it's one of my buttons doesn't make me deal with it any better. I feel waves of rage if I consider it too much.
2.) Someone at work today told me that I've been looking skinny, which is further proof that I look good in my pants. Ha! Except I'm not wearing pants today. And I wasn't wearing pants on the day that she referenced as having noticed my putative weight loss. I was wearing a skirt and a particular green and white shirt. Why are you complaining about a compliment, Andrea? I'm not! What I'm complaining about is that the reason my co-worker thought I looked thin in that shirt has nothing to do with me; it has to do with the shirt, which is ridiculously flattering to my body type. And, specifically, the reason I'm complaining is that when I wore that shirt the other day, I noticed it has some small holes in it around the bottom and can't really be worn to work anymore. The black shirt I had that was just like it that also was ridiculously flattering and that I wore more often (since black is a more unobtrusive color than green-n-white) already gave up the ghost a month or two ago. So! My complaint is that this super thin cotton they are making t-shirty shirts out of these days, while draping beautifully, doesn't last, even when you wash and dry on gentle. I think you should be able to get more than a year and a half's wear out of a forty dollar shirt. Especially one that makes you look fabulous.
3.) It's fucking 85 degrees in our offices today, even with the back door propped open, and even with my cardigan off, I am dying. I can take no more garments off and remain decent. I mean, I could take my tights off, because I'm wearing boots, but I don't have underwear on (is that TMI?) and not having tights OR underwear on at work seems indecent.
That's all.
xoxo
8 comments:
There, there, little girl... Don't go getting your pretty little head spun around by all those condescensioners around here...
[ducks]
Can't say about the condescencion, but I can say paragraph 2 is just further proof that there are only 3 things that can ever be said (successfully) to a woman: "You are young". "You are thin". "You are beautiful". Anything other than that, even to change just a few words around to say something like "you've been looking skinny", can never end well. Sure, the "magic 3" will often end in an argument, too, but at least there's a chance for success.
As for #3, I am a solid proponent of the female commando--nothing indecent about keeping comfortable, I say.
No, no, "you're looking skinny" is fine. It's just when it sadly reminds you that the shirt that makes you look the most thin but curvy has fallen apart that it triggers complaints.
Um, not "you" per se. You don't wanna look thin and curvy.
See, that's just it... Going to the gerund and implying a time element to the "skinny" is what really pulls it straight into the "what am I wearing today" morass. The absolute "are" is the least dangerous. Of this I are certain.
As for "thin", "skinny" and "curvy": Personally, I happen to like "curvy" best, but, yes, "thin" is better than "skinny". (See comments on "commando" above for additional context). Since you happen to be able to pull off BOTH "thin" and "curvy" when you care to (which has nothing to do with shirts, btw) I think we have further explanation for the driving habits of your elderly neighbors.
Kin I have the shirt when you're done with it? I need something that'll make me look skinny ;)
Speaking of elderly neighbours, Mr. B, I want it on the record, here and now, that I do *not* have MA's address...and if I did any drive-up accosting I would identify myself.
1.) I don't think the senior citizen pervert was a neighbor. He was probably from, like, Salem and just passing through. And I'm sure he has cataracts.
True fact. :-)
2.) So this is the conversation we had when my dad saw me weighing myself yesterday.
Dad: How much do you weigh?
Me: Too much.
Dad: Noooo. You don't. Do you know how big your mother was by the time she was your age?
ahahaha
Also, Mr Barma? I don't think told you what my dad said after he met *you*.
Dad: He's tall, isn't he?
Me: Yes, dad.
Dad: And he's not fat.
Me: No, dad.
ahahaha
My dad notices these things. Even though he's, y'know, blind.
Uncle! Do you have the boobs to fill out my green shirt? You might need to buy some before you borrow it :-) :-)
And you'll notice I said the old pervert was probably from *Salem*, not other neighboring towns :-) :-)
Unc, you just give the word and I'll give you the coordinates to program into your GPS.
As for being tall and not fat, well, all I can say is that it must be for skipping the green and white boob shirts when calling on lady friends. (I'm given to understand that shirts are what make people look the way they do, at least around here).
Tsk. If certain clothes didn't make you look thinner or fatter, curvier or more shapeless, taller or shorter, there wouldn't be both a British *and* an American version of What Not To Wear, plus a whole line of books.
Clinton and Stacy might steer me wrong, but I trust Trinny and Susannah. They'd approve of the green and white shirt.
Post a Comment