I read a rant/plea the other day wherein a woman noted that on craft forums, people are apparently unable to post any pictures without apologizing for them. If it's not "here's the dress I made, it's kind of crappy," it's "I think this dress I made came out pretty well, even though I know it makes my arms look chunky" or "I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to fix my hair before I took a photo of me in the dress" or "please excuse the mess on my desk in the background" or "the dress came out great; I'm sorry I'm such a crap photographer that you can't really see it very well." The ranter was pleading with people to please stop apologizing for, apparently, existing.
I thought it was a good observation. But in retrospect I realized that we bloggers do the same thing, about our writing. I did it yesterday with my little disclaimer on how I knew my gosling story was going to be of interest to no one but myself. And I've certainly read plenty of other people saying things like, "I know I said I wouldn't talk about this any more, but..." or "I know that last tangent was of interest to no one but me" or "I'm sorry, I know this is probably TMI."
I know exactly where this impulse to apologize comes from. It's a defense mechanism, a way to deflect criticism. "I know my arms are chunky/my project isn't perfect/my room is too messy/my writing is boring; you can't hurt me by saying (or thinking!) so, because I already know it. So there. Nyah."
It used to be one of my big issues when I was younger, the impulse to worry and care about what other people thought of me and their perceived criticisms, warring with the impulse to say, "oh fuck you, who cares what you think?" (Which, as anyone who has a teenager or who has been a teenager knows, means that of course you care what they think.) I thought that this was one of the issues I'd more or less successfully worked on and dealt with, until a realization like this one comes along and smacks me upside the head. Oops. Perhaps not so in the past as I'd like to convince myself.
So! Dr Andrea's therapy for herself is, starting today? No more blog apologies and disclaimers. If it's boring, if it's repetitive, if it's TMI, well, so it is. If I write it, it's because I want to write it, and it's going to stand without hedging and qualifying and asking pardon.
xoxo
5 comments:
Geez, not even a ransom note for the lost validation of our ugly-opinionated reader-bias and prejudices?
Not even apologies for various Sox on a crappy streak? Can we just take over for you?
I'm already holding M-A responsible for the Rays' current baseball success, which began after she publicly mocked their newly updated Devil-less name in her widely read blog.
I'm sure it ended up tacked to their locker-room wall, fueling them to play far above their usual bottom feeding character.
When the Tampa Bay team takes the Red Sox place in the playoffs, I think M-A should have to personally apologize to every grief-stricken member of Red Sox Nation.
Until then, though, I guess the apologies are off. ;)
I say hats off to the Floridians for every afternoon that they 5-2 the Skankees on their way to the AL East title, cuz the Sox can get to the Series from the Wild Card, and it won't be no problem for me now that Lou Pinella is finally gone. Hard not to like 'em the way they're playing now. But, honestly, Lugo has been the only difference between first and second place this year.
Remind me again... Whose blog is this??? heheheheheh
Um, yeah, you all just *feel free* to go on talking amongst yourselves while I'm busy. You know I don't mind.
Post a Comment