taking bets

I tested this little baby in work this morning. (Actually I tested two little babies in work this morning, but we're gonna talk about just the one.) What was fascinating to me about this experience is that by the time the family left, I would have bet good money that these parents will be divorced within five years. Or, alternately, I suppose, that they will stay married the next forty, making each other absolutely miserable the entire time.

The infant in this family had reflux, and was colicky, and thus apparently didn't sleep much and screamed much of the time he was awake. That sad state of affairs understandably made the parents sleep deprived, exhausted, and anxious. I don't mean to judge them. Anyone would be irritable under those conditions, and perhaps argumentative. What struck me, however, was how mean-spirited the parents were towards each other.

When the mom asked the dad to get something out of the diaper bag for her, and he couldn't find it immediately, she murmured to me under her breath in a tone of scathing scorn about how he knows nothing. When the dad disagreed with the mom about the best way to calm the baby and his way worked, he absolutely gloated about it. Out loud. I almost expected the words "nyah nyah" to come out of his mouth. I, meanwhile, was trying hard to be pleasant and polite to both of them as well as being soothing to their child, because (and I'm sure these people didn't quite grasp this concept and I wasn't going to be the one to enlighten them) small infants are very attuned to other people's vibes and the more anxious and frazzled you are, the more likely they're going to scream.

Anyway, all ultimately went well, but I was left thinking, man, if you have absolutely no respect and no fondness for each other, why the hell did you procreate together? Recently? Apparently twelve or so months ago, you liked each other enough to be screwing. How about, even in the throes of your miserable sleep deprived state, reaching deep down into your...something...and trying to remember that? Or trying to remember that your baby would really much rather grow up in a house where you aren't constantly sniping at each other and undermining each other's authority, even if s/he doesn't know it yet?

Do people really not realize when they are being that disrespectful to each other? Or do they really just not care?

xoxo