...on a very cold day. (Is it okay if I use the ellipses in the first paragraph rather than the title? That's less ellipses overuse, right? Right?)
1.) I cannot do anything wearing gloves. You might just as well put me in those restraint mitts they put on the patients with the severe senile dementia to keep them from, like, pulling out their catheters. And when it's as cold as it was today, even after I'm indoors with my gloves off, it takes me a good five minutes before I can make my hands work properly. This makes simple fine motor tasks like attempting to extract a five dollar bill from my wallet to hand to the long-suffering Shaws cashier a far more time-consuming and labor-intensive maneuver than it has any right to be.
2.) Here it is, 2008, and I still cannot not tip anyone, no matter how much of a total cunt they are. I dunno whether it's guilt, embarrassment, or just a total (ridiculous) unwillingness to look like a miserable cunt myself, but whatever, I'd like to get over it. Perhaps I should make that a New Year's Resolution: in 2008, I resolve to stiff someone who deserves it. At least once.
3.) Here it is, 2008, and your average citizen of eastern Massachusetts still cannot grasp the basic etiquette of using public transportation. Move into the freaking train. (Green Line riders, I'm talking to you.) If there is an empty seat and you do not intend to sit in it because you are getting off at the next stop or you are wearing a backpack or whatthefuckever your problem is, then do not stand in front of the empty seat, blocking it, and preventing someone else who would sit in it from doing so and moving into the train. And, for god's sake, if you are getting on a bus and paying cash, please please please have an at least semi-unwrinkled dollar bill ready so you do not hold up the other fifteen people attempting to get aboard as you spend 3 1/2 minutes attempting to pay your fare.
All these sad observations kicked in my crankiness (did you notice? huh?) until I realized that it's 2008 and I am on the cusp of...well, something anyway.
Did you like how I used "cusp" twice in two consecutive blog entries? Perhaps that's going to become my favorite new word, replacing the word pallid, which I swear to you has appeared in every single published piece of fiction I've ever written, whether there was any reason for it to be or not.
2008: the year of cusp.
xoxo
4 comments:
I just went to the dentist for the first time in several years yesterday... I think we should declare it the year of the bicuspid. ;-)
I must admit, it has a better ring to it than "year of the molar."
But the question is, did you tip your dentist? No, wait, that's not allowed. The question is, does your dentist move into the...
Oh nevermind :-)
I was on the cusp of commenting on the ellipses, but I'll move on to tips. I share your pain. Well, actually, it's my own because once again I got my hair cut by a dim bulb unfamiliar with the concept of long hair on men...and I still tipped her! Arrgh!! But then, it will be three months before it grows back enough to have another go.
They used to have a name for people like us: suckers.
I'm glad it's not just me.
We were talking about the hairdresser thing in work today...how they just do whatever they want. It doesn't matter what you ask for, it doesn't matter if you bring a picture, it doesn't matter that you're paying *them*, they just do whatever the hell pops into their too-much-bleach-sniffing little heads.
Then some of us tip them :-)
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