evil advertising

Somehow, being in the wrong demographic and all, I've missed this up until now (despite the fact that the NYT had an article about it way back in September), but Nair has a new product called Nair Pretty, which is aimed at 10-15 year old girls. Or as they apparently say in the biz, "first time hair removers." Way to go, making pubertal children all that more convinced that there's something wrong with their bodies as nature made them, and that any new and interesting hair growth must be removed immediately so you can feel "pretty." I won't even go into the fact that they specifically mention that one of the areas that it's safe to use the product on is the euphemistically-named bikini area, because if your twelve-year-old wants to remove her pubic hair, you've probably got more pressing problems than I personally feel equipped to comment on.

But--and I'm sure you've heard this rant before from me--I can't help but think this is just another example of the p0rnization of American beauty, wherein the aim is look as much like a Barbie doll come to life as possible. You know, hugely disproportionate (hard plastic!) breasts, no hair whatsoever (except for the bad blond weave on your head), and (look away if you're squeamish) genitals sans labia. Start 'em early, so with the right plastic surgery, by the time they hit the magic number of 18, they'll be all set to sign their first photo release.

I'm absolutely positive that you've probably heard me say this before too, but when my kid was in his mid-teens and I would find evidence on my computer that he'd been looking at nekkid women, the p0rn search itself wasn't what bothered me. One would really have to have one's head in the sand to not accept that 14-16 year old boys have drives in that direction. What bothered me the most was that he might be imprinting on that ugly Barbie p0rn star stripper look before he ever got a chance to see what a real woman looked like naked. Okay, obviously I'm being facetious here and I would never have done this but--it half made me want to leave something like Suicide Girls up on my computer. "Look at the cute girls with normal-sized breasts, half-sleeves, and black lipstick. Aren't they adorable and sexy?" (That might have been prescient actually. When you're going to group therapy on the ward, the cutter sitting next to you is more likely to look like that than Barbie, and wouldn't it be good for your self-esteem for you to chat her up? Sigh.)

Tangent much, Andrea? Anyway, while this rant was coming together in my head this morning, the TV playing in the background started playing one of your typical Sunday morning commercials. It was for some kind of exercise ball which would give you perfect abs. One of the testimonials was from a woman whose claim was that, now that she had perfect abs from using this equipment, her husband "can't keep his hands off of her." (Wait! It's on again! It's the Bender Ball.) Now, if my (mythical) husband told me I was only sexually desirable after my stomach was perfectly flat and tight, I think I would be forced to tell him that masturbation is a viable alternative. But that's just me.

But anyway, point: advertising sucks. (Who says I can't be concise?)

xoxo