You must admit it's been awhile. Also? It's possible I have PMS.
Complaint #1: I ordered something from a website that has lately adapted the "amazon model" of free shipping all the time if you spend over a certain minimum. They ship by Fed Ex. I go onto the Fed Ex website to see where my package is in its travels to me and find that as of 5 am today, it is in Northborough. And the scheduled delivery date is...Monday. Um, do they have a big pallet labelled "cheap bastards who didn't pay for shipping" where packages linger a few days? Because I'm fairly sure my Fed Ex man could walk the package to my house from Northborough by tomorrow.
Complaint #2: I had my yearly routine mammogram yesterday and this morning they were already calling me back for more pics of my left breast. That's happening tomorrow. I am extremely sick of this. Almost every mammogram I have ever had, I've had to go back for more films. I have microcalcifications. I have cysts in that left breast. I probably will have breast cancer someday from them irradiating me so goddamn much taking extra views of shit they will then tell me is benign. But today is not that day. My GYN just groped my breasts the other day and didn't feel anything amiss.
Complaint #3: It is so cold and so dry, my hair is completely filled with static and will not lie right.
Complaint #4: I forgot to put in my eyedrops today and my eyes are scary red.
Complaint #5: Put 3 and 4 together and I look like shit even though I am wearing my new cute pants.
The End.
xoxo
1 comment:
I dunno. I think it'd take most FedEx people *two* days to walk from Northborough. Still, I've run into the same thing; some kind of black hole in FedEx and UPS distribution centres around here. Maybe there's a wormhole or two and the packages have to transit a parallel universe before they arrive.
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