I got a summons for federal jury duty. (And they do not care I just did state jury duty.) Three fucking weeks in May. Three. No electronic devices in the courthouse. I am overjoyed. As you can imagine.
This is NOT what is supposed to happen on Trent Reznor Wednesday, I'll tell you what.
Oh, and I've got complaints left over from yesterday, too. Is there some kind of grape tomato shortage going on? I ordered some with my peapod order and they were out of stock, which was strange. So yesterday after acupuncture I went to the Shaws near Marcy's office and they had none either. Did the crop suddenly fail or what? It is fucking with my ability to have my salads they way I want them. God. All was not completely lost however, since I then stopped in B&N on my way to the subway and bought two fantasy baseball magazines. (There were like 6 to choose from. No lie.) I'ma take my band of sad losers all the way to mediocre this year. You just watch!
xoxo
4 comments:
I had that a couple years ago, and luckily I never had to actually go in. Called the number they give you the weekend before and it was always "better luck next time". You should be equally lucky.
Of course, you can't count on *not* going in, so you have to be prepared to drop everything for three weeks or even longer. Let it be a lesson to you: they probably only picked you cause you were dumb.... errr... civic minded enough to show up for your State jury duty.
Plus, see what your dependency on the Kindle has gotten you? You'll have nothing to read now that you trashed all your paper books. (Maybe you should check if you could take a Kindle in, since it has no camera. But I bet the defendants have more right to electronic devices than the jury members do. It's probably intended to put you in such a grouchy mood you'd vote to convict anybody... and quickly, too.).
Hmm, I was in Crosby's this morning and they had plenty of grape tomatoes: cornering the market?
So in May, you show up for Federal jury duty (if you need to show up)with a bag of grape tomatoes and a pile of fantasy baseball magazines...and a tinfoil hat. Twitch a lot and mutter something like "hang 'em all." You'll never miss the Kindle.
GodDAMN, is that where they're hiding all my tomatoes?
Do you think they'll have a place to check your electronic devices???? Because if I have to travel a fucking hour by public transportation to get there, and I have to leave my phone, my iPod, and my kindle at home, I am gonna be the crankiest juror ever, yo. I may NEED the tinfoil hat.
So I filled out my application (questionnaire? whatever) online this afternoon, not only because it is DEAD in work, but because the mail-back form had extremely conflicting directions. On the actual form itself, it said to use a number 2 pencil. On the juror instruction page that came with it, it said to use black or blue ink. Yes, that's YOUR federal government, the people that brought you the IRS, fucking with you again. So, anyway, I took the online option.
And in perusing the site, it says no cameras, cell phones, computers, recording devices inside the courtroom...I do not think a kindle is any of those things, do you? (Nor would have been my old iPod, but this one I hate has video recording on it. Grrr.)
I'll stop bitching about this any.day.now. and get all zen-like about the likelihood that I will in fact follow in my friend Mr Indemnity's footsteps and not have to go at all, not even once.
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