Well, we met with D's new psychiatrist today--who is still at the clinic that I hate, but in a different section with apparently some different staff, so we'll see how that goes. The new doctor is a very pleasant young Indian woman. I liked her. D was a little disappointed that she wouldn't cut his blood tests back to once a month quite yet, but other than that it was okay.
The good news is that I've gotten him several times in the past month to take the (prison!) bus to or from his appointments, though only with me accompanying him. Honestly, only three or four months ago he was freaking out at even trying to do that, so this is a big improvement in his level of social anxiety/paranoia. And then today, he actually went into Shaws with me after his doctor's appointment. Every time I've tried to get him to go into a store with me for the past year and a half, it's always been, "no, that's okay, I'll wait outside." Today I didn't even ask him... he said, "I'll come in with you." So I'm pretty pleased.
And in blog-reader followup, I must inform you that possibly-Irish-Danny was on the bus with us today, but he did not, alas, have any interesting cell phone conversations, nor was Spanish Danny accompanying him.
xoxo
7 comments:
Hey, that's great about D!
Totally rocks that he's a bit better on the whole social anxiety thing... and volunteering to take some chances, at that.
Must make you feel really good, and proud. :)
Guilt makes me acknowledge what wonderful news D's progress is, (sincerly!), right before I say (embarrassing as it is to admit it) that we really need more possibly-Irish-Danny stories, especially with the St. Patties Day weekend coming up. Inquiring minds want to know!!!
I am proud, and I felt compelled to tell him so, though in a lighthearted way. I struggle somewhat between not wanting to infantalize him while also wanting to acknowledge that I know when he's pushing himself to do stuff that's tough for him.
Sometimes it's a dilemma whether to say anything or not.
I was so psyched to see possibly-Irish-Danny and his unmistakable tattoo, and then...nothin'. If he must offend my eyes with his hideous bodyart and my ears with the incessant cell conversations, I expect to at least be entertained, goddammit :-)
I don't know what the "right" answer is, but if I were to struggle to do something that was really tough for me, it would be really meaningful if someone who's opinion I respected and desired not only noticed the effort and success but explicitly acknowledged it.
I don't know if D's built the same way, but for me, at least, it would encourage me to continue to make that difficult effort, in order to continue to gain that respect from someone who was meaningful to me.
So I think you very much did the right thing by verbally acknowledging it... I don't think it's infantilizing at all, I think it would only helpful, at those times when it's a real step forward, like this.
Again, coming from experience, it is way cool that D has done this. What his own neural wiring will figure out is that if he did it once he can do it again. The really scary parental part is getting the right balance between acknowledgement and overprotection. You're off to a great start there, I think.
OK: never mind possibly-Irish Danny unless his arms turn green on Monday. I'm waiting for nearly-headless Nick.
We all love it when good things happen.
I was just talking about that neural rewiring thing with someone today. The more times D takes the bus and nothing bad happens, the easier it becomes. Until, like the other day, he is so *not* freaking out about the prospect of taking the bus, that, what the hell, he'll go into the supermarket too.
It is a good thing :-)
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