On the way to work today, I had to stop in CVS. There was only one cashier working and three people ahead of me in line, so I had plenty of time to peruse the magazine headlines on the rack. And there on the latest issue of Glamour, in big white letters, it is urging me to read about "Men's New Sexual Needs."
Seriously? You guys are developing new ones? Not to speak for all womankind or anything, but are you quite sure we're capable of dealing with all your old needs, never mind some added bonus ones? We might just crack under the pressure.
With no objective evidence whatsoever, I'm going to blame porn for this. Or over-imaginative copywriters.
One of the two.
xoxo
6 comments:
Hasn't Cosmo pretty much had the equivalent of that headline in every issue for the past 30 years?
I guess there's always women turning 16 (or 18, or 21, or whatever) so, like the catch-phrase ABC once used to convince people to watch re-runs, it's new to them.
Actually, I've often wondered if Cosmo just uses the same sex articles (lightly rewritten) on something like a two year rotation.
Now if Glamour were a feminist magazine, wouldn't the headline have been "Women's New Sexual Needs"?
I think it was the adjective "new" that threw me. I mean, they're always trying to convince us there's some magic sexual secret that we haven't figured out by our ownselves, but to suggest you all are evolving some kind of different physiological imperatives, well, that's just...perplexing :-)
I'm still working as hard as I can to get the old ones satisfied. What was it that Howard Stern once said? We want a woman to put out, and then turn into a pizza...
Now, see, that's the kind of classic, old skool need I can understand and, y'know, get behind.
What makes you think that "men's new sexual needs" necessarily have to do with women? :D
Although I do like that "put out, and then turn into a pizza" concept.
Well, y'know, I don't think Glamour is invested in telling their readers about dudes' needs for other dudes. Because, really, how's that gonna sell your average 26 y.o. woman mascara, diet soda, or home waxing kits?
Besides, you can't fool me. That's not a New Sexual Need either. I've seen "Sparticus". :-)
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