friday randomosity

I forgot to mention that after the other night, That Asshole Lackey has been upgraded to That Bastard Lackey. He'll get on my good side yet. You watch. "Stop talking about baseball, Andrea." Okay!

I just started watching the second season of Californication from Netflix, and in the first episode, David Duchovny is getting a vasectomy. His urologist's assistant comes on to him in the hallway afterwards and tells him he has a nice-looking cock. Well, of course in my rich and full fantasy life, he DOES, because--as we've recently gone over--he's one of my celebrity make-believe boyfriends. Be that as it may, I found my suspension of disbelief sorely tested. I'd say that even in Los Angeles, medical care cannot be *that* unprofessional, but then I did see in the news that one of the big university hospitals out there is in big trouble because the staff were giving each other French manicures and eyebrow waxes in the NICU. If my sick little baby's neonatalogist had enough fingernail to *get* a French manicure, I'm pretty sure I'd demand a new doctor. I don't even want to think about what I'd do if I found out she got it on top of a transport incubator while she was on duty. So, yeah, I guess I should be more charitable about TV writing that suggests urologist's nurses size up (see what I did there?) the patients' equipment and ask out the ones that measure up. (See what I--oh, never mind.)

In other news, I cut my "lawn" for the second time this year last night. Every time I do it, I ponder how I could get rid of it completely. Who invented the concept of a lawn? Someone with servants, I'll bet! There's a house on Mr Indemnity's street whose whole front yard is covered in, instead of grass, a huge patch of lily of the valley. I'm sure it looks like hell 50 weeks out of the year, but right now it looks and smells incredible. I picked some the other night whilst Mr Indemnity pretended not to know me and I accused him of being chicken-shit. (Yeah, yeah, I know, it's much easier to commit garden larceny when it's not *your* neighbors.) But seriously. They have a whole front yard full. I admire their nonconformity even as I steal a few flowers.

Okay. That'll do for now. Namaste, bitches.

xoxo