There were a few things I forgot to tell you all about my shopping trip yesterday. I don't know why I think anyone is interested, but nevertheless, too bad if you're not. First of all, remember when I said there is not a garment in the world that looks worse on me than one of those dropped-waist, blouson-y dresses or tops? I take it back and give you instead: the flutter sleeve. I keep trying on dresses and shirts with flutter sleeves, for reasons that are unclear to me--it's as if I think this time they're magically NOT going to make my arms look like slabs of ham, and every time it's "ewww!" Not flattering. I'm not sure who they are supposed to flatter: women with skinny arms? women with broad shoulders? women with small breasts? Or *maybe* they look like poop on everyone and are a sad joke pulled on us by the fashion industry! Couldn't tell ya.
I also have my issues with puffed sleeves, though I love them dearly. I tried on a very cute dress yesterday. It had puffed sleeves, a scoopneck, fitted waist and A-line skirt, and it actually fitted nicely except: BOOBS! I looked like nothing so much as buxom Greta the slutty bairmaid who will take you out behind the biergarten for the right price, which is not the look I am going for professionally. So did not buy.
The other sad realization I had yesterday when trying summer clothing on in many different scarily lit dressing rooms is that the pilaris keratosis on my upper arms is outta control and I should have been using my super-strong AHA body lotion on them all winter, rather than just ignoring skin that doesn't see the light of day October through May. Sigh.
But today I am wearing my new black pants and blazer. It came to me that in my skinny legged black pants, black jacket, and white T-shirt, I am looking a little New Wave, like channeling Ric Ocacek*** circa 1982. So I wore tan sandals and gold earrings to hopefully distract from that. Eh. Better Ric than slutty Greta!
xoxo
***I can't be arsed to google how he actually spells it right now. Gotta run!
4 comments:
(Looks around) How did you find out about Greta? Anyway, I don't know. There are so many boobs of the mammary kind on view in workplaces these days that it rather takes one's mind off the boobs of the idiot kind.
Everyone knows about Greta ;-)
"Krejci" and "Ocasek". Basic Czech-for-Bostonians.
Thank you. I tried Ocacek and Ocasek and Ocascek and none of it looked right. (But I figured someone else would know off the top of their head :-))
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