1.) What do they call English muffins in Britain? American muffins? Actually, are they crumpets? What's a crumpet?
2.) Obligatory Tiger Woods comment, so I don't get drummed out of the blogosphere for neglecting my duty: I wish I had been one of the people on the street the local news vultures were asking "What would you like to hear Tiger say?" (in his apology) last week. How much satisfaction would I have gotten in my opportunity to say,"Not a goddamn thing. How is this any of my, or your, business? It's between him, his wife, and his mistresses"? A lot. That's how much.
3.) Obligatory Tiger Woods comment #2: I think "sex addiction" is a load of crap. People who just can't keep their pants on even when it's likely to lead to a whole lot of trouble may have certain mental issues, but "addiction" is not one of them. The whole addiction model is the bane of the fucking late 20th/early 21st century. IMHO.
4.) My new rug looks awesome, but do you know how heavy a 8x10 "jute boucle" carpet is? I have no idea how I would have gotten that thing up the stairs and into the other room without my kid. Which is, I suppose, a point in favor of procreating for any of you who are on the fence.
5.) They are playing really sucky videos on Totally 80s this morning. I mean, Whitney Houston? When Billy Idol has a whole ouevre they could be showing me? C'mon now. I suppose that is my cue to stop screwing around and go get dressed and outta here.
Adios!
xoxo
7 comments:
They call them MUFFINS! Do you know what they call Belgian Waffles in Belgium? WAFFLES! German Shepherds in Germany? SHEPHERDS! Those kind of things kill me.
Also, it seems like instead of an addiction model, they should be preaching some sort of ADD/impulse control model (ooh! shiny!). Or a "it's not always good to be the king" model.
Or, he could have been like Mark Sanford who explicitly asked his wife to take the "be faithful" part out of their wedding vows. Then it would have been ok.
That's the other thing...we have someone who is rich, famous, and told every single day of his life that he's the very best in the world at what he does, and then everyone is shocked--shocked!!!--that he thinks he can do any damn thing he wants? REALLY???
BTW, Mr Indemnity disputes that there *is* such a thing as a (non-English) muffin in Britain.
There is probably a non English muffin muffin in the UK, but I bet it's not called a muffin. It's probably called "American fatty breakfast pastry."
Britons have any number of breakfast noms, but English muffins aren't among them. Crumpets are the closest thing. A former Brit boss of mine would periodically bring English muffins with him on his trips back to the U.K. I'm not sure anyone ate them: I think they just sat around and mocked the dumb colonials. Pasties (sic) are more often for elevenses and tea. (Why people who eat five meals a day aren't twice our size is beyond me.)
Uncle!!!!! Where you beeeeen and what you been doooinnnn?????
(Excuse me, but that's what we say to Evil Kitty when she comes in after staying out till all hours in the summertime, and now I've coopted it into a private joke when various friends go MIA for awhile. I realize it's only funny to me, but goddamnit if I can't amuse myself, who can?)
Yeah, from the little I know of English baked goods, I'm pretty sure the closest thing to an English muffin in English-land is a crumpet. And they really only resemble an English muffin in shape. They're closer to a pastry in consistency (if not sweet) and they may be warm but I don't think they toast them.
J's told me there's something called "American Sauce" in Sweden which IIRC is some very mutant bastardization of thousand island dressing that they put on all sorts of things where they shouldn't belong, like pizza and hot dogs. And if they know you're American they make sure to put it on to make you feel at home.
According to a last minute dash in Harrod's the flat salty thing you put cheese on is a "savory biscuit". Do you know how hard it is to ask "Where are the crackers?" when you know they don't call them crackers but you sure as hell don't know what word they do use?
I'm glad I read "bastardized thousand island dressing on hot dogs" *after* I finished eating. Urk. :-P
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