Evil Kitty is dead upstairs on my daybed. After getting worse and worse over the course of the last day despite being back on the other medications, I basically think D and I pushed her over the edge into shock by attempting to give her pills this morning. I am, as you might imagine, crying hysterically as I am typing this and feeling like shit that her last interaction with us probably felt to her like we were torturing her. I dunno. Even if it had been possible for me to leave the house yesterday afternoon or this morning, I think she'd have gone into shock and died on the way to the vet, just from the stress of leaving the house. But I am so fucking sad. A week ago she was doing so well, all fat and happy and feisty. We even bought her a giant tub of catnip for Christmas.
I won't say 2010 has been the worst year of my life (hello, 2006!) but it's in the top five. Something good better happen soon because I really am on a thin edge here.
RIP, Goozy.
xoxo
6 comments:
Hugggss
RIP Evil Kitty :-(
More hugs to you and D
Thank you.
Oh, and the vet's office called me soon after I posted this to cancel her appointment b/c of the storm. So if she hadn't have died from our forcing her to take her pills, I'm sure she'd have died later in the day anyway and without me having to make an agonizing decision about whether to try to take her to the vet or not.
Which is sort of comforting somehow. Like, I knew this was out of my hands but it really was out of my hands. I dunno. I'm not making sense.
Very large hugs. It is a fortunate animal who gets to pass on in a comfortable, familiar location. You gave her much in her life, and perhaps the end was in her paws, not your hands. Blessed be, for you and D.
I am so, so sorry.
I'm sure there was nothing more you could have done for her than you did, and I'm sure you made her last days the best they could have been.... but I'm also sure knowing that doesn't make it any easier to lose her.
It sounds like it was just her time to go. Far too young.
I know she was a wonderful, beautiful kitty and I'll think good thoughts for her, you and D.
Post a Comment