in other news

of the non crotch-related variety, I did my taxes last night. Since it isn't even April, for god's sake, this is quite the turn of events. You would think I would feel a huge weight off my shoulders, since you know how much anxiety the whole process induces in me, but no. The adrenaline involved in waiting till April 12th or so and *then* finishing them produces a much bigger high. Apparently. Procrastinators of the world, unite! Sometime. Maybe, y'know, in a few weeks. We'll get around to it, I'm sure...

In other news, I am really really sick of the general public. Had a patient scheduled yesterday who had originally been scheduled Monday, and who had called 20 minutes before her appointment to cancel, because she didn't have a ride. Okay. Not a problem. It was pouring rain, I understand. Yesterday, however, she called half an hour past her appointment time. "Can I come now?" No. No, you may not. You cannot just show up whenever you feel like it. That is why there are little things called "appointments."

Then this morning, I had a little patient who's been treated for head lice since Tuesday. Okay. Thanks for letting me know after I've already been picking through her hair for five minutes, and cue the psychogenic itching, emphasis on psycho. She was not even finished and out the door for two minutes when our lil MILF is sticking her head in to tell me the mother of one of tomorrow's appointments is on the phone. The child has a spot of impetigo behind her ear (which is an area I most certainly will have to touch) that is "just starting to dry up." Should she still come? I tell our lil MILF to tell her no. The mother is not happy with that. Snottily: "She's been on topical and systemic antibiotics for weeks, you won't catch it." Um, if you're so sure she isn't contagious anymore, then WTF was your question, lady? Needless to say, she's coming. I hope she doesn't lean her non-intact skin up against any of the chairs in the waiting room, because while I'm going to take precautions in my office, I'm not going out there and disinfecting any furniture, yo.

I go next door to get lunch and when I get back, our other receptionist (who does not have a colorful blog nickname for reasons that are unclear) tells me the nurse of the inpatient baby who is supposed to be coming down at 1 pm needs to talk to me. I call her back. The mother of said baby, despite being instructed to keep him from napping till his test, keeps letting him fall asleep. The nurse says "I TOLD her it was for *his* benefit, and I turn my back and she's letting him nap again." Jesus wept.

I'm getting a bottle of wine on the way home is all I'm saying. It's on my weightloss plan. Seriously. Look it up.

xoxo

Saturday Addendum: Impetigo mom had a change of heart and rescheduled! Someone else also rescheduled for reasons that are unclear. And a baby I was going to have to do got transferred into The Big Hospital. So my day at work today is looking pretty sweet. I may go home early!