home deeeeeepot

I think I may have mentioned before, but I do so love going to the Home Depot. It reinforces my little fantasy world in which I am really the kind of person who could re-tile her own bathroom blindfolded and with one hand tied behind her back.

Anyway, yesterday there I was, wandering through, picking up paint swatches, some more (gold) furniture paint, and a new small paintbrush (did you know that you have *one* chance to get a paintbrush really clean, and that's immediately after you use it? I do now) and I wandered into the lock section. Well, here's the thing. I now have two, count 'em, two, doors in my house that need new deadbolts, because they can only be locked from outside with the key. I've been putting off calling a locksmith because after the recent glass door replacement, I'm just not in the mood to write big checks to random tradesmen. So, yeah, I wandered by the deadbolts in Home Depot and thought, how hard can it be? See: re-tiling fantasy above. So, y'know, I bought one. Then I chickened out. I have not taken the door apart yet. But HOW HARD CAN IT BE????

It occurred to me that perhaps the perfect grandfather of my future step-grandchildren would be a contractor, if, y'know, we're making up a wish list. So maybe I ought to hang around Home Depot more, flirting with mens who look like they have a way with ::ahem:: power tools. In fact, I should probably have been flirting with the guy in front of me in line buying the huge load of lumber. I mean, he was a little short and bandy-legged, but he had a big truck! All life is trade-offs.

(Do I need to * any of this? We do all realize I'm not really planning on hanging out in Home Deeeeepot looking for a guy who'll say, "Gimme ten minutes and I'll pop that deadbolt right in," don't we? Though, actually, you could give that line a really filthy read if you were so inclined. But I'm not hanging out in Home Depot for that, either. Seriously. Keep up.)

xoxo