When I was telling y'all about my ill-advised boot buying Sunday, what I didn't mention was that, as I was out and about, running my errands, there I was in Marshalls, ripping off the thin cotton hoodie I had on over my t-shirt and mentally cussing them out. As in, "What the hell is wrong with these people? Why is the A/C not on in here?!!?? OMG, I'm gonna die!" Then, of course, I realized it wasn't them, it was me.
Yup. It may have happened a time or two this summer without my realizing what it was, but for the last two to three weeks, it's suddenly happening every day, multiple times a day. The sudden spreading warmth from my chest to my face, the flushing and wanting to rip my shirt off. Apparently my estrogen levels have suddenly dropped like the proverbial rock. It's the strangest feeling. It happened to me yesterday as I was putting a package of chicken breast into the freezer. There I was with freezer air blowing directly into my face, and I felt like I was in front of a furnace.
It's pretty bittersweet, of course, the acknowledgment that I'm getting closer to The End. Not that a person relishes having their period. It's messy and inconvenient and sometimes painful and, over a lifetime of buying pads and tampons and pantyliners, expensive and it has the propensity to stain your underwear and your sheets and to leave you depleted of iron. It's a big pain in the ass. But not having one ever again means, well, yeah, you're transitioning into a dried up little twig of a woman who is no longer full of youthful juices. The chronic annoying dry eyes for the past two years has pissed me off enough. I can't WAIT for it to start happening with my vagina. I mean, seriously? You do the reading and it's scary as hell. Vaginal atrophy? Once the chances of my popping out even a two headed baby have passed, Mother Nature doesn't want me having sex. Evolutionarily, what's the fucking point? I should crawl off and die and leave more resources for the people who can still procreate.
Luckily I don't have to go that far, since we are no longer living in Paleolithic times. No, I can just buy some of those I Never Want Sex Again clothes from LL Bean and start collecting cats.
I was thinking something along these lines:
But if you have links to anything dowdier, I'll consider them. No turtlenecks, though. Those are hard to rip off in the cereal aisle of the Stop & Shop when my upper body suddenly thinks it's in Delhi during monsoon season.
Addendum: And how's this for the first cat? Awwwwww...
xoxo
3 comments:
At the time, my sis-in-law riffed on the T-shirt that says "it's not a hot flash, it's a power surge," saying:
Nope, it's a hot flash.
You want to watch out for those clothes: they might get the horses hot.
Is THAT who they're supposed to be attractive to? Well, that makes more sense.
Excellent choice for the first kitteh :-)
And I'd stick with the second jacket, the first one has that classic outdoorsy woman feel to it, some men really like that.
Im not even going to the rest of what you posted, cuz, well..Im in denial...and I kinda like this river :-)
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