As if eye fungus wasn't serious, god.
I've suddenly got that punched-in-the-stomach feeling of unhappiness again today, which had gone on its merry way since Thanksgiving--even when applicable. I can only surmise it's the advent of Christmas in a few short days. (No pun intended, Catholics.) And I thought I was doing so well with all my decorating, keeping a positive spin on things. That's the thing, I guess. Even with a positive spin on things, they can sneak up on you and punch you in your gut. I'm not extremely pleased with D right now for a variety of reasons, and my dad's procedure to fix that wayward esophagus is this Wednesday, over which I am feeling this formless dread. I've got no reason to think it will be anything less than routine, and lord knows, the whining quotient in my house will go down when he's no longer limited to a diet of yogurt, soup, and scrambled eggs. But still. And then there's the usual bullshit about how everything would be great! if only it were all completely different. Which I'm sure the Buddhism will cure me of in ten or twenty years, just in time for me to die.
So since I can't get rid of that immediately if not sooner, I thought I'd list some things that I should be happy about right now. Positive fuckin' spin.
1.) I'm wearing a skirt today that I haven't been able to wear for a while. Through the miracle of control top tights, I'm sure, but even so. I used to wear this skirt a lot when I weighed like 15 pounds less than I do right now. Having it on today should make me pleased. (We'll just ignore the pathology of having one's mood elevated or lowered by what clothes are zipping on any particular day, 'k? Work with me here.)
2.) I did yoga last night for the first time in ::mumble:: and to my surprise, even though I couldn't get all the way into the poses like I could when I used to do them daily or almost daily, I still did much better than I could do when I first started. My hips are still more open than I thought. Yay for nice stretchy fascia.
3.) That's all I got.
xoxo
3 comments:
A couple of my yoga friends have been doing this thing on the evil Facebook of posting somethign they are grateful for each day, since the beginning of November. I started it around the middle of the month. You post one or 2 (or more-some days were really good, others all I was grateful for was breathing) things youre thankful for.
I started it, and after about a week, I was amazed at how my attitude changed. I felt more blessed, and felt that good things *do* happen to me. (as opposed to my usual "The Universe hates me,Im a horrible person" attitude) One day, I woke up feeling very...um..cranky-lol, and very much not grateful. I sat and thought about something to be thankful for, and came up with 1 thing, coffee, I think it was. As I went on with my day, I felt my gratitude growing, and by the end of the day I had posted a few times of things I was thankful had happened or been given to me. Even the day my car broke down-on Thanksgiving!! I found much to be thankful for :-)It doesnt have to be any BIG thing, as I said one day it started with coffee. LOL
Oh- and Im still posting gratitude every day. :-)
Congrats on getting back to the mat. :-) Stretchy fascia is good.
I am *always* grateful for coffee!
I got my third happy thing now: My hospital is having a Christmas toy drive and I went to the Tarzhay after work and bought a Barbie, a five pack of Hot Wheels cars, and two small Bionicles Legos to donate. That makes me feel good.
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