I'm just gonna keep recapping this show till you all beg for mercy.
Two chicks yesterday, both with kids at risk for, or already, being removed. One a thin blond woman with a good dye job, hip glasses, and a pretty and cosmetically-enhanced face. One an extremely morbidly obese woman with stringy unwashed hair, dirty feet, and what could most charitably be described as a potato face.
Woman #2 seemed kind of sweet and really dim, like verging-on-mentally-retarded dim, really kind of hurt and perplexed that you can't keep 25 animals who poop all over the friggin' floor in a house with your four children and not expect the authorities to remove all of the above.
Woman #1 was batshit crazy. BATSHIT CRAZY. Now, I am acquainted with someone whom I am absolutely sure (due to my crackerjack box psychiatry degree, yo!) has undiagnosed (or maybe diagnosed, I haven't seen the medical records [ha!]) borderline personality disorder, and woman #1, with her completely self-centered manipulative dishonest histrionics, reminded me of no one so much. Can I say it again? Batshit crazy, and in a completely unpleasant way.
So, let's recap: one very unattractive woman with what seemed like a pleasant enough personality, in over her head probably due to diminished mental capacity, and one conventionally attractive woman with a horrible, hysterical, controlling personality. And goddamn if I wasn't tempted to give unpleasant batshit crazy chick the benefit of the doubt *because she had cute glasses and nice hair*. It didn't last, of course, because you didn't need more than five minutes of listening to her to realize she was completely toxic, especially to her poor children. But how sick is that, that I was originally more disposed to "liking" her because she was attractive and well-groomed and disposed to "disliking" the physically unattractive and unkempt woman? Pretty damn sick.
Eh. The loving-kindness shit will help with that too, if I ever "get" it. Batshit crazy, potato-faced, good hygiene, bad hygiene, rude people on the prison bus, my awesome blog readers, myself...we'll all be the same to me. That's the theory!
xoxo
3 comments:
I do not think its sick. I think its human.
I wonder if you dislike being told you're human as much as I do. I am getting used to it.Mr Bill likes to tell me Im human all the time. He has no idea how hard I try not to be, and how much I dislike being so. Well, he may have an idea after a few conversations we've had. I have started asking myself when Im in a moment of hating it "What else would you like to be? What else *can* you be? Do dogs want to be something else? Do tigers?" It usually makes me laugh and forget about hating my human-ness. :-)
Oh, I agree it's human, and universal. (There are myriad studies proving what we've all known since like 3rd grade: people show bias in favor of other people they think are good-looking. Um, way to waste the grant money, guys!)
But it's a very unbecoming facet of humanity. I don't think I need to just accept it in myself unquestioned because it's human nature, you know?
I agree, that we shouldnt just "accept" it. Far better to dig to find out why we feel that way. Not an easy route, but thats really the only-well, best- way Ive found to do it.
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