the "princess on the ceiling" story

I'm not sure I've ever told this story in public before. In fact, I'm not even sure any of my close friends have heard it. My mom and I, however, used to occasionally refer to it amongst overselves. And laugh and laugh, in that way you laugh about things that are so funny yet horrible that your laughing is both shameful and cathartic. I kinda think this story says a lot about me but you be the judge.

To set the stage for this story, you need to know a couple of facts. One: my dad is an alcoholic. He stopped drinking when I was twelve, so...33 or 34 years ago. He never relapsed. He never went to AA or any of that kinda thing. He bartended for my uncle for many years after he stopped drinking, and serving beer to other people never made him take a drink. I have always found it incredibly admirable, that kind of strength. When my dad says he's done with something, he'd done with it.

Two: we had these across the street neighbors the whole time I was growing up, and they lived there until the late 80s (when they won a *big* lottery jackpot and moved to Florida.) They were a childless couple, older than my parents, very, very nice to everyone on the street. When D was a toddler, he used to love to go over to their yard and play with their plastic flamingos (white trash, yur doin it rite) and they were the kind of people that had no problem with that. They also had a dog, a very nice dog, some kind of terrier I think, who was kind of their substitute child.

Okay, still with me? So, when I was twelve, my dad's boss took him aside and basically told him his functional alcoholism wasn't so functional any more, and it was affecting his job performance. And my dad, being my (never-missing-a-day-of-work) dad, decided then and there that he was going to quit drinking. Just quit. He didn't really know or conceive of the consequences of this, but he was physically addicted. And that means withdrawal. And, with alcohol, that means DTs. So not drinking led to...hallucinating. And the forever-after-famous quote in my family, "[my mom's name], why is Princess on the ceiling?"

I don't think I ever looked at that poor damn dog the same way ever again. My dad's hallucinating then led to him almost climbing over a banister at the top of the hall stairs and falling to his death had not his wife and daughter dragged him back, which led to, y'know, the EMTs being called and a dry-out in an actual hospital where they're better prepared for this kinda thing, so not, y'know, very funny after that. But "Princess on the ceiling" became kind of a codeword in my family for stuff that was so horrible yet so hilarious that laughing till your stomach hurts is the only way to deal.

xoxo