Joking about the fact that you guys certainly don't need to feel any compunction to censor yourselves in here made me realize how unnatural my writing would feel to me if I couldn't use the word fuck in my blog. Not just as an expletive, you understand, but as a verb.
Because when I think of the act of sexual intercourse, in my head it's always fucking. In polite company I would say have sex but those are the only terms I use for that activity un-ironically. (Ironically I might say something like "some chick he's boinking" or something along those lines.) Why is that? Because some of the other terms or euphemisms that are commonly used squick me so much I can hardly think them, let alone say them. For example, the phrase making love skeeves me so much that just typing that caused me physical pain. It sounds like something people wearing polyester jumpsuits and/or bad moustaches would do while listening to Starland Vocal Band. Ew. So even the most tender, gentle, connected, loving sex will always be fucking to me. Case closed.
There are other words and phrases that make me react like that, too. I'm sure I could say panties out loud if you held a gun to my head, but I'd be shuddering while I did it. Underpants is almost, though not quite, as bad. This makes me fall back on the generic term underwear, but that's somewhat problematic, since women's underwear isn't all, y'know, the p-word. I would like to adopt the British word knickers, which is far superior, but it sounds affected coming from an American. The next best bet is to be more specific: boyshorts, bikinis, thong, tanga. But that runs the risk of making you sound like a catalog writer, eh?
I used to always prefer tits and breasts over boobs, but since I talk about my own so damn much, I've had to expand my vocabulary just for variety's sake. I will, however, be damned if I ever start calling them "the girls." No anthropomorphising my body parts, thanks much.
I would discuss my preferred terms for both male and female genitalia, but let's just leave that. I will, however, make my usual plea that if you wish to use the word vagina, please remember that it's an internal organ. Or I will be forced to point and laugh. Not that you have to be afraid of ridicule from a woman who can't say panties, but whatever.
Happy Friday!
xoxo
2 comments:
We're fucking easy :D
I'm sure I could say panties out loud if you held a gun to my head, but I'd be shuddering while I did it. Underpants is almost, though not quite, as bad. This makes me fall back on the generic term underwear, but that's somewhat problematic, since women's underwear isn't all, y'know, the p-word. I would like to adopt the British word knickers, which is far superior, but it sounds affected coming from an American.
See, that's one where I disagree.
I like "panties" because they're obviously female gender-specific, whereas to me "underwear" evokes male undergarments rather explicitly.
Now, of course, one can also go for the specific type of pantie, but in my vocab the entire set of female mid-body underthings are "panties" of which thongs, bikinis, etc. are more specific styles of pantie.
And "knickers" always makes me think of those baggy things 1920's golfers wore before I remember they're also British panties.
We won't even mention the whole fanny issue (I blame Victorians who were too prudish to ever tell their compatriots what a "fanny" was, thus leading Americans to entirely the wrong body part and a complete misunderstanding of the title of Fanny Hill).
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