conversational tidbits

A friend was telling me yesterday about his girlfriend's friends' rules about dating. One of them apparently will not accept a date for a weekend if asked after Tuesday. "How's that working out for her?" "Eh. Apparently she stays home a lot."

I thought it sounded like something from the stoopid "Rules" book, and we both thought it sounded pretty damn manipulative. And it makes me wonder: why? Why, as soon as sex or the possibility of sex enters in, does the manipulation and the game-playing also enter in? If a totally platonic friend asks you on Thursday if you'd be interested in doing x or going to y on Saturday, does not your response hinge solely on whether you're interested in x or y and whether you have any other plans or obligations? But as soon as sex enters in, you're locked in some kind of stealth psychological battle? Why is it impossible for people you date and possibly fuck to be your friends, just like all your other friends? The whole thing makes me sad, and tired. Which is why the chances that I will ultimately die alone and be eaten by my 47 cats is looking more and more likely, yo.

So, then, coincidentally, my friend and I ended up in Barnes and Noble and I see Why Men Marry Bitches. Well, I thought I already covered that in here: you're all a bunch of emotional masochists. But, anyway, no, I guess the author is full of advice on ways to manipulate someone into marrying you. Which, I *suppose* would be all well and good for someone like me, who only wants to marry for the step-grandchildren and (ideally) the ability to do carpentry and/or electrical work. But for the average person who wants to marry so they can live happily ever after, is tricking someone into it with your psychological games really the way to go? I dunno. Again, the whole thing makes me sad, and tired. Maybe I should have bought the book.

On the other hand, another friend-of-friend that came up in conversation is a woman who is apparently dating someone that never will give her a compliment. I think we also covered that in here, obliquely. Let me spell it out. Not only should you kick to the curb anyone who criticizes what you look like nekkid, you should also kick to the curb anyone who fails to tell you how awesome you are. If someone, lover or platonic friend, doesn't appreciate your contributions to the universe and *at least occasionally* tell you so, what the hell are you doing hanging around them? To steal a title, this much I know is true. (Do you think *I* could get an advice book outta that? I'm telling you, I'm totally not opposed to hiring a devoted ringer husband to take on the book tour if necessary.)

xoxo