Thursday, August 19, 2010

things i will never be able to do

I saw this kid at the gym yesterday--and by kid I mean "young man in his late teens/early 20s"--who was hanging off a bar, like a pull up bar, and jackknifing his legs up till he was in a V. Okay. This is very similar to the double leg lifts (one of the "five Tibetans") that I do when I do my Kundalini yoga video, which kick my ass and leave my abs and hip flexors sore for two days when I do them flat on my back on a friggin' yoga mat, never mind fighting gravity. I would have liked this young man to have lifted his shirt so I could see whether he has abs like The Situation, but there's no non-pervy way to ask someone to do that. (I hear they are doing a Jersey Shore spinoff with Korean kids, who apparently have their own Guido-like subculture. Maybe I coulda told the kid at the gym I was casting for the Dominican version? Sigh. Missed opportunity.) Also, I was surprised over his arms. Don't get me wrong, he had nice definition and muscle there, but he was not huge, like I would expect someone who could support themselves hanging off a bar while doing that crazy ab work to be.

And while we're on the topic, I have never in my life been able to do one pull up. Ever. The ironic thing is, for much of my childhood I had a pull up bar in my bedroom doorway. I really have no idea why, but I must have begged my parents for it at some point. Probably after the '72 Olympics when all us little girls thought we could be Olga Korbut. Needless to say, having that pull up bar in my room never led to any kind of Olympic glory, nor did it ever increase my upper body strength. I was weak like little girl when I was a little girl, and now, while I don't think I am exceptionally lacking in arm muscle, there's all that, um, lower body mass keeping me grounded. So to speak.

So I will not be replicating that very impressive gym move now or ever. Good thing they aren't planning a Jersey Shore for old Polish chicks.

xoxo

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