I was enticed by the 7th million "this is our Final Sale, seriously, we mean it" email I got from jcrew last week, especially when they dangled the free shipping in front of me. I hardly ever buy anything from them at full price because their full price = fucking ridiculous, but I have to say some of the things I have bought from them over the years have turned out to be favorites. So, enticed, I bought me a few things wicked marked down, crossing my fingers they'd fit. And today my darling UPS man (whom I even forgive when he bypasses me and delivers shit to the people up the hill) brought me my package.
I bought:
They are all about the ruffles this year and I do not object. That's about the right level of ridiculous floofiness for me. Unfortunately, my floofy ruffle got smooshed in transit, so I think I need to wash it and hope it comes out of the dryer re-floofed.
Then I got jeans:
Two things about these jeans. They are skinny at the ankle like the jeans I wore in the 80s. I have faithfully worn bootcut jeans since they came back into style some time around 1997-98, because they balance out the bulgy Polish catcher's thighs, in my humble opinion and screw what Stacy and Clinton say. But those 80s style jeans *are* awfully cute--as long as they are not "jeggings" which I loathe (and apologies to all the jeggings-wearers who just read this, because every time I make a statement like that here in the Adventures, I offend someone). And the second thing about these jeans? They are non-stretch. Do you *know* how hard it has become to find non-stretch women's jeans over the last couple years? Next to impossible. So I caved and bought these. The issue me and jcrew have amongst us is that they do not cut their pants for woman with hips and (bulgy) thighs. They do not service the ethnic crowd and thus apparently tailor their clothes for a more straight up and down body shape. Careful perusal of the size chart led me to order the size I would have thought I am anyway. Can I tell you? These fit my ass and thighs perfectly. Perfectly. They're about an inch and a half too big in the waist. Which is why god invented belts, yo.
Finally, I bought this dress/shirt:
I plead temporary insanity. It kind of looks like I'm wearing a wedding cake when I put it on. Thank god I didn't get it in white. It's also completely see-through. Not so much in front because of the double of layer of fabric with the ruffles, but when I turned around to check out the rear view, not only could I clearly see what color underwear I'm wearing, I could see my butt through the underwear. I'm thinking this dress/shirt needs to go either over a bathing suit or a pair of very opaque leggings. And I kinda love it even though it's a completely insane garment. If you would be embarrassed to be seen with a chick wearing the sartorial equivalent of a wedding cake, shoot me an email and I'll try hard to remember not to wear it when I'm going out with you. No promises, though!
Okay, that is all.
xoxo
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