Hoarders last night! Woman in her early sixties, whose house is so crammed full of (figurative this time, thanks) crap that there are only little tiny aisles you can squeeze through to get from one room to the next. The woman's grown children, a daughter aged 23 and a son aged 26, are so fed up with her they are threatening to cut off all contact if she doesn't get some help. The woman claims things got out of hand 5 or 6 years before when her daughter left for college. Daughter disagrees and says from the time she was a freshman in high school she was planning her escape from that house, and that every time she would throw trash out when she was living there, her mother would go out and bring at least part of it back in. During the filming the daughter and mother fight constantly, and the mother is still unwilling to throw out much, even when confronted point-blank about whether her stuff is more important to her than her chance to save a relationship with her children.
So, who's the other family member being affected? Oh, the woman's husband. Her second husband. Whom she's been married to for only ten years. He says he really doesn't want to divorce her, but it's getting so he can't live like that any more. ("That" being a house in which the only places you can sit down are the toilet, the bed, and a couple chairs.) So, let's review. This woman is not, by the by, a particularly well-preserved or pretty 60-something. She's kind of a typical post-menopausal overweight, gray-haired woman with an old lady haircut and WalMart stretch pants. And ten years ago, according to he daughter who lived there, her house was, if not quite in the state it is now, well on its way. Her personality is such that her own children aren't sure they want anything to do with her. She is either so mentally ill or so selfish, or both! (because it's certainly not mutually exclusive), that it's apparently a difficult decision about whether she wants to accept free help to clean out her pit o' crap to make her children and husband happy.
You know where I'm going with this. This woman, with all of the above, has managed to attract and keep a second husband, a husband who is only making token threats about divorcing her under severe duress, but really wants to stay with her. What.the.fuck. That's what I'm doing wrong in my sad romantic history. Apparently once again it is proven that the way to make men want you is to take no care with your appearance, take even less care in trying to modulate your crazee, be a complete selfish bitch to everyone, and treat the guy like shit. Then they'll pursue you, marry you, and try very hard to hold on to you.
On a related note, I've seen first hand or heard of second hand two separate cases where the reason a guy was attracted to a woman is because of her volatility which is apparently "exciting." Yeah. I'm sure I was much less boring and predictable back in the days when I used to throw things atcha when you pissed me off. I shoulda stuck with what works.
xoxo
5 comments:
I think the difference isn't in the women's behavior, but in the type of men with whom they can be satisfied. Most male doormats (i.e. the ones who won't divorce potty middle-aged hoarding freaks) are still single, and readily available for matrimony for a minimal amount of sexual attention and a few square meals, provided a willingness to overlook paunchy pattern baldness and a coincidental internet porn habit.
Next time someone honks at your hoodie, check it out. ;-)
I would love to believe this, but I have seen far too much real life evidence that the bigger a raging bitch a woman is, the more men, no matter what their age, pursue and then fight to keep her.
Kindness, and respectful and loving treatment is either "boring" or too uncomfortable to receive.
As for finding men finding "volatility" exciting, I seem to recall that you have no problem understanding women's attractions to bad boys... I'd say it's pretty much the flip side of the same coin.
Try throwing a few things now and then and see how it works for you... There is, of course, volatile and then there's crazy (or, in the case of bad boys, criminal). Where that line gets drawn does seem to be in the eye of either the beholder or the criminal justice system. And that line does appear to move with both time and familiarity.
The difference is women outgrow the bad boy thing before middle age. Mostly. IME, blah blah blah.
Damn.
There goes my whole plan to get hot, post-twenties, babes.
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