I did not sleep at my house Wednesday night, so yesterday morning I called my dad to check up on him, as I do. You haven't lived till you've attempted to have a phone conversation with an 83 year old man who's 75% hard of hearing, but that's neither here nor there. He told me that Wednesday afternoon the UPS man delivered me a wicked heavy package and I was like, oh my god! that's my cart. I was not expecting it to come so soon.
Isn't it beautiful? It's for the hallway outside my kitchen, to replace the disgusting cheap dusty plastic shelving from, probably, Caldor (because that's how old it is) that hereforto held a bunch of random appliances that never get used. Like that waffle maker I pull out once every two years. So I put it together last night, which was easy peasy, and took the old one apart and put it in the trash. This led to some difficult decisions re whether some of the stuff stored there should really actually be tossed. For instance, I have a breadmaker. It belonged to my mother. My mother knew how to make real bread (because, y'know, white trash Martha Stewart, y'all) but she used the breadmaker for quick and easy hot carbohydrates on occasion. well. My mother's been dead for 6 1/2 years and I have never used that breadmaker. I've thought about it (that counts, doesn't it?) but to be honest, I dunno if I even have the instruction booklet, and I'm not sure a breadmaker is the kind of thing you can learn to use by trial and error. (Unlike, say, a hot towel cabi. Oh, the private jokes, they never stop. Ahem.)
So, anyway, to cut to the chase, I put the breadmaker on the new cart. Be honest with me. This is how those people who end up on Hoarders started out, right?
I also kept a meat grinder, which also was my mother's. I suppose you could probably guess that, because you people do not, rightly, see me as the kind of person who could ever in any possible universe be arsed to grind her own hamburger. The meat grinder is still in its box, though it has been used. How can you throw away a perfectly good meat grinder still in its box? And I'ma guess none of my friends want to grind their own meat, either, so it's not like anyone wants it. But you can't throw it away. I'm sure the lady with the two tons of poop in her house would agree with me.
Anyway. My new cart is lovely. I also have some new Blik stickers that are going in the foyer, but they're still in the mailing tube. I'll report back on those. Whether you like it or not.
Peace!
xoxo
8 comments:
The photo we want is of YOUR cart, with the stuff all on it. What's the the catalog-version tease? Hoarders works cuz they show the REAL STUFF.
Also, and I just gotta say, if you complain about the consequence of kids and their texting in one sentence, than follow it with another about trying to communicate with a deafening old guy, you just aren't connecting the dots. Get the guy some T-Mobile, baby!
And, yeah, I know the reply will be something about the eyesight--chuck the T-Mobile suggestion and go AT&T. Those iPhones have that feature where you can blow up what you're looking at to be as large as you need.
Of course, that would mean you'd finally have to get off the Star-Tac and onto a textable phone... This isn't so easy, is it...
I am *so* nice to you, and all you do is torture and harrass me. God. :-PPPPPPP
Leaving aside the fact that my dad can no longer even operate the effin' microwave, even back on his best days, he would never been able to text. Why? you ask. Because he has huge hands. Huge. Abnormally. Out of proportion. I don't know where my pretty and delicate hands came from, but I must be a throwback.
Now now, I too have a meat grinder that needs more to do. This is the really old-fashioned kind that you clamp to a counter and turn by hand. There's nothing like it for several dishes. If I wasn't being cremated you could bury it with me. Instead, my daughter can produce it on Antiques Roadshow ca. 2050 and see what it will bring.
And I can finally text in a more or less sensible format.
Wow, that is old skool.
My grandmother had one that was (I think) enameled cast iron which weighed a ton, but even that ran on that new-fangled electricity.
My mom has a meat grinder like yours Uncle. Every year it gets hauled out a couple times to make something. Around Thanksgiving it grinds up cranberries for her cranberry salad.
I dont think I could throw out something my mom owned and used either, Andrea. :-)
It's not so much that it belonged to my mom ('cause I've had to get rid of a lot of her stuff) as that, y'know, it's servicable. For someone who wants a meat grinder. Not me.
I used to think freecycle was gonna be the answer to this kinda thing, but the people on the group for my area seem really...uh...like the kind of person you wouldn't want to give your address to.
You will all be very very gratified to hear that I did find the instructions to the breadmaker, however.
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