admissions, embarrassing and otherwise

1.) Right now, even as I type, they are advertising Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp on VH1Classic, and if I had more money than sense, plus could leave my dad unattended for a considerable amount of time, I would *completely* sign up for this and go sing with Steven fucking Tyler. Which is possibly the saddest vacation ambition anyone has ever had, especially for someone like me who can neither sing nor play any musical instruments, plus when they did the Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp episode on the Simpsons, it was hilarious because who even knew such a thing was real? Plus, has Steven Tyler spent *all* his money on drug relapses and divorces such that he has to degrade himself with this? Can't he just borrow some money from Liv?

2.) Also on VH1Classic, I was just treated to 1980s Madonna, and I must say, she was once an attractive and normal-looking woman.

3.) The reason I am sitting on my loveseat in my pajama pants watching VH1Classic with my laptop on my stomach is that I have so much frigging stuff to do today, none of which I actually want to do, so lazy procrastination seems like the way to go. Maybe I should either make another pot of coffee and/or suck down one of the energy shots that are on my kitchen table and get really, really caffeinated, so that I am psyched! psyched, I tell you! to do the mounds of laundry, disgusting cleaning, and Andrea-grooming tasks that really need to be completed today. On the other hand, an overly caffeinated Andrea is usually not a good thing. It's a dilemma. If it were really the 80s like it is on VH1, I could do some lines. Oh, I kill myself.

4.) Now 1980s Bowie is on VH1 and I'm getting...distracted. I really need to switch to CNN or something or else nothing's getting done today.

5.) On a more serious note, in the interwebs surfing portion of this morning's procrastination-fest, I came across a discussion of (trashing of) some famous contemporary artist I'd never heard of. She apparently is known for impressionistic portraits of well-known people, which a lot of people apparently think are kinda soulless, as well as technically not so good. (But she's famous, so someone likes her.) Anyway, to get to the point, and I do have one, one of the portraits that were being trashed in this discussion was one of Eminem, and looking at that picture made me tear up. Oh, god, let me explain. In certain photos of Mr Mathers, he has a striking resemblance to D. Or, how D used to look. For instance, when 8 Mile came out, there was a spread in EW in which Em looked exactly like D, except that D was still a teenaged boy then and Em was a grown man in his late 20s, and it was like looking at a future portrait of D, like what he would look like when he came into his total filled-in adult face. If that makes sense. Except now that D has his adult face, that's not what he looks like at all. He looks like, and it breaks my heart to say it, someone who is mentally ill. Fat from the antipsychotics, and fairly unkempt because he just doesn't take care of his grooming like he used to. It's incredibly shallow and disgusting of me to even care, but that picture of Eminem made me tear up because it reminded me how handsome my son used to be, and it seems like just another thing he's lost to this fucking disease. I dunno. It's the least of his problems, right? But it's just another little minor heartbreak for me.

Okay! Enough silliness and enough maudlin crap. Gonna go bathe and get productive.

xoxo