Not really, but I'm marginally less cranky today, if simply for the fact that no one has done anything yet to piss me the fuck off, and look! it's 11:30, so that's something. Plus, those of you with astonishingly good memories who were also readers of my old blog (um, that's...no one, probably), will remember me using this blog title before. Recycle, recycle, recycle. It's good for the environment.
Nevertheless, here's a blinding dose of positivity. D went to see his cute little Indian psychiatrist today (is that sexist of me? I know she made it through medical school and a psychiatry residency, so she's obviously a bright woman--though also obviously not at the top of her class if she's working in the clinic full of poor, chronically mentally ill patients on MassHealth--but she's adorable and she looks like she's fourteen, so I must adjectivize her as "cute and little", no offense meant). Anyway, she was teasing him that it wasn't really fair of her to weigh her patients between Thanksgiving and New Years, but when she did, he'd lost another 3 pounds since last month, Thanksgiving notwithstanding.
Also, when I went to hand her a copy of the bloodwork in case she didn't have it, she told me she did already. And then she said, "But, thank you. You're really on top of things! That's great." I did *not* say that I have to be because everyone else in the world is frigging incompetent, mostly because I spewed that yesterday and got it all out of my system. But, anyway. Thank you, Dr M, for recognizing that.
But what I really wanted to be positive about today? I'm gonna give my dad a little praise here. I know I tell you guys when he's driving me crazy. Most of that is because he's old and deaf and going blind, and thus really needy in a "I've devolved to the state of a five-year-old who needs Mommy to take care of my needs *right now*" kinda way, and to his credit, if I point it out to him without yelling, he often sees my point. The other part of his driving me crazy is totally predicated on our being way too much alike in many ways, which is neither of our faults. But I was thinking, in the context of a friend's idle remark about one of their parents, that one thing I can say about my dad and totally give him props for, is that he has never, ever criticized me for any of my relationship or lifestyle choices. Never a word of disapproval about my living with S before we got married, nor about our accidental pregnancy, our marriage, our divorce. Never any criticism about anything I did in raising D (and nothing but incredible sympathy and care for D since he's been sick, even though he doesn't understand it at all). Never any disapproval from the time I started dating again after my split with S to now about my going away with guys or sleeping elsewhere or any other indications, however discreet, that I have a sex life. It just doesn't occur to my dad to be judgmental about any such matters. I mean, he might be exasperated I didn't vote for McCain, but other than that? I'm golden. I really have never felt that there was anything I could ever do that would make him not love me.
Now, my mother... Wait! We're being positive!
xoxo
4 comments:
Any moment you feel the need to draw your mom-issued friends closer and start a little discussion, you just let me know!
hahaha
Any issues between me and my mom can be squarely laid on the fact that I was the only child of a woman in an unhappy marriage and thus, she was over-involved with, and over invested in, me. This led to her instilling in me--totally inadvertently of course, she was not a bad person or a bad mom--at a very young age, the idea that I had to be perfect, or at least *appear* perfect, or her life wouldn't be worth living.
You can imagine how happy some of my life decisions made her :-)
I don't think we get to draw a flush with parents, but sounds like Dad has done a lot of right things. That was what I aimed at...was often sure I fell short...and since my daughter grew up I've been rewarded with a couple of totally unexpected pluses that said I was on the right track. So give him an extra hug or something.
Aw, you know he's just on my good side b/c yesterday, after I was done ranting, I made a pineapple gooey butter cake, and he told me I was a good cook and baker.
Which is, y'know, not exactly true, but he and D constantly positively reinforce me in this matter, fearing a sad life eating nothing but BagelBites and hot dogs if they don't. :-P
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