I had the TV on today, playing in the background as I ironed my pants for work, and one of those purile morning shows was on. Because, of course, it's Valentine's Day, they had one of your usual ridiculous "relationship expert"/self-help book authors on, discussing, I dunno, how to handle this market-driven exploitation of Twue Love, whether you're in a relationship or not. And The Expert said that if you aren't in a relationship, this is the loneliest day of the year.
I was, like, Seriously? And also, Fuck You. The only possible way that this could be the loneliest day of the year for anyone is if they listen to crap like that in the media, the only purpose of which is to sell jewelry and flowers and lingerie to the coupled, and self-help books to the single. Being unpartnered on 2/14 is no different or more upsetting than being unpartnered on 1/14 or 5/14, unless you buy into the media brainwashing that if you don't have anyone to give or receive diamonds (or, I dunno, edible underwear) to or from on Valentine's Day, you are a big Losah. Capital L.
Just another way for the media to fuck with the self-esteem of the American buying public. Bastards!
And, okay, let me just say this, on a positive note. The best Valentine's Day gift I ever received was a huge white ceramic piggy bank with red hearts on it that my future ex-husband bought for me at Fanueil Hall in 1979. I still have it. It no longer has the stopper, so you can't put any money in it, and it's probably very dusty, being stuck on the top shelf of a closet, but as a reminder of what being in love for the first time felt like, it's pretty cool.
xoxo
5 comments:
This couldn't possibly be right, since it was only just over a month ago that I recall being told that New Year's Eve was the big day. Or was that night...
My favorite part of all of these holidays, including the ex's birthday, our ex-anniversary, Christmas, etc. is in purposefully ignoring them. My theory is, if a gift/indulgence/thoughtful gesture changes in value or importance based on the day of the week on which its offered, then the folks on the receiving end have the whole thing backwards, and it's actually a necessity for the good of the world that they be disappointed.
Except for Patriots Day. (Not "Patriot" Day the way dubya abominated it, but the real way, when it's about actual patriots and not accidental martyrs and the civil-liberty extinguishing fans of fascism who exploit them) On Patriots Day everybody is free to expect a decent sleep in, baseball tickets to Fenway, and a capping clap along Boylston Street in the direction of all the skinny people running by in search of a foil blanket and a bottle of water, not to mention a bathroom.
All the rest of the holidays, religious and nationalistic included, are sorry excuses for self-indulgence, and should be outlawed.
Unless, of course, the weather is nice, and they give us a day off from work.
Nuh-uh. I'm not down with outlawing Halloween :-) That's a holiday done right, with all the fun and none of the fake expectations and pressures. I mean, once you're over the age of ten. Before that, there's probably some pressure in making sure you have a socially-acceptable costume with which to impress your peers. As an adult, though, it's all gravy.
My birthday's good too. I think everyone in the U.S. should celebrate my birthday by going out drinking and/or getting massages their friends won't let them pay for. You really can't argue with a holiday like that. It's the good side of self-indulgence. ;-) C'mon now. Andrea Day. Mark it on your 2008 calendar now.
Oh yeah! Let's move Halloween to the top of the calendar, especially for adults and keep it R- rated.
As an authentic glad-that's-over-with veteran, you can also outlaw Veterans' day and Memorial Day. No wait: don't outlaw them, because I want the time off. Just make everyone who wants to weep crocodile tears over "our heroes" get in a uniform, go to Iraq or Afghanistan, and get shot at. Let us stay at home, sleep in, and screw around.
Or suppose we have 13 days of work a year and have the rest be days off? Kinda levels the playing field, doesn't it?
Just as another plug for Andrea Day, I'll mention that it's rated NC-17, sleeping in and/or naps are encouraged, and post-coital naps are especially encouraged.
C'mon...add it to your calendars now. It's right after Halloween. That could be the best two and a half weeks of the entire year! :-)
If post-coital naps are part of the party, then count me IN!
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