Wednesday, September 12, 2007

physics lesson

(Brought to you by the producer of "wait! how do you know blue cheese has gone bad?")

The top floor of my house has, because of how the roof is configured, a couple of rooms which have skylights and very high ceilings. On paper, and at first glance, this is lovely. In practice, it means that at least half of both those rooms can't be cleaned without standing on a ladder. This being me we're talking about, that means that cleaning only happens every few--okay, never.

But, being as I've been trying little by little over the past couple weeks to get rid of the disgusting dirt and clutter that's accumulated up on the second floor over the past two years while I was going to school, D was in the hospital, I was job-hunting, I was working six days a week, blah blah excusecakes, I was up there with a ladder today. While I was changing bulbs in the recessed ceiling fixtures (another looks-good, pain-in-the-ass idea), I decided I should wipe off the ceiling fan. And--look away if you're weak of stomach--there was literally an inch and a half of dust on top of the blades. How is it even possible for dust to settle and stay on something that's revolving at high rate of speed? I don't understand this.

And then, while I was on a ladder roll, I figured I would open up the grate on a heating duct that was wayyyyyy up on the ceiling and wipe it down. Oh, look at that. It had a filter in it, completely clogged with crud. And on the filter it said "for best energy efficiency, replace monthly."

They're fucking with me, right?

xoxo

6 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Hey, pretty cool, your first blog-spam. And in exotic Portuguese, no less.

Hell, I haven't even gotten any blog-spam in English. You have an international readership, and I can't even get a local one. :(

Craig H said...

They make these wicked cool extension poles with bulb-fitting suction cups at the end and sell 'em at Home Depot. :-) You can even buy ceiling fan blade-cleaning attachments that screw into the end as an option. :-)) Nothing with a screwdriver for screwing with air filter grates, though... :-(((

I guess that's what indentured domestic servants are for...

malevolent andrea said...

I'm not even deleting the Portuguese spam. It lends a jaunty Continental air to my blog, doesn't it?

But I think you people may possibly be severely over-estimating my physical coordination with the whole light-bulb changing sunction cup extension pole thingy as cool as it sounds. In my hands it might just be a recipe for, like, head trauma :-)

Uncle said...

The suction cup thingees are something else for people who take seriously instructions like "replace monthly." That isn't me, either.
I think those gadgets should come with spears at the other end for those who just want to get it over with.

When you finally deal with the bulbs, a little bit of soap in the threads makes them come out easier next time, when you have the servants change them. (That is an honest to Gawd household hint!)

malevolent andrea said...

But...but...I want the servants to have to work harder! 'Cause that's the kind of girl I am.