On some show D likes (Attack of the Show, maybe?) they do an epic fail--imagine a deep voice and echoey sound effects--segment where they run a video clip of someone's, well, epic fail. I have no filmatic evidence of my own, but trust me, today seems like a string of them.
I told you I braved the Shaws yesterday, despite the fact that every other moron on the North Shore was buying spring water and Twinkies in case the four inches of snow we were getting was going to trap them in their homes for a week or three. I bought some chuck for beef stew. I didn't buy carrots or potatoes. Well, I had one sprouting russet at home and absolutely nothing orange other than tangerines. Moron. Not that the stew turned out horrible per se, but it's supposed to have carrots. Also? I was gonna try making it in the crockpot I got for my b-day, that I have used *once* in the past eight weeks. But since I was out shoveling before I actually had coffee today, I didn't get around to starting the stew till after 2 pm, not enough time for slow-cooking. (Yeah, that last sentence makes no logical sense, but just believe me when I tell you that my coffee and my stew had something to do with each other.) So that's a big ol' fail.
Next? I have my physical tomorrow. I haven't had one since...the summer of 2005? Oh, I had a mammogram somewhere around January 2007, and my pap smear last summer, so I have had *some* preventative health care. And besides, my boss, the pediatric neurologist, hasn't had a physical for about five years because "every time you go in there, they find something wrong with you, or wanna do some tests." So I figure I'm ahead of the game. But when I went to the doc's to have my rash looked at in November, apparently my file was flagged all over the place and they did not let me leave without booking. Well, I don't really care, except for having to fast (so that, once again, people are gonna make me do stuff before I've had coffee). But I'm thinking, yeah, I should, y'know, shave and landscape, moisturize, pumice my feet, maybe even take off the remains of the toenail polish that's been on for two months and redo it. Dr B hasn't seen me in a johnny for 3 1/2 years...shouldn't I make an effort? Ahahaha. Well, it's 6:30 pm, I haven't embarked on this SWAT grooming effort yet, and giving myself a pedicure would involve taking off my socks and it's cold. You see where this is going. Fail.
I did get through one of my DVDs. How very sad it is when that's your not-fail, huh?
xoxo
4 comments:
I am sure he wont mind...hes seen it all. If you at least bathe before your appointment he will be thankful. :)
Its winter, dammit..its bad luck..or something to shave our legs till spring, isnt it?
(I did all of those things you listed this morning...lol- I hear ya!)
Any good intentions I had about extra grooming this morning were thwarted when I woke up at 7:30 am for an 8:30 am appointment :-) Holy crap.
They took an extra tube of blood so they could check my hormone levels, plus I got the little test kit to bring home and mail them back a sample of my poop. First time for that one! I think it's another one of those indignities of getting old.
And yanno, after doing the poop kit for, what, 10 years, this year my PCP decided it really wasn't worth the aggravation.
To whom, I should have asked!
An extra tube? Just wait a few years! I get liver panels that are about one tube short of a pint. And I think I said something about the students I often get stuck with...or stuck by.
Oh, yeah, and they made me get a tetanus shot (which has, I guess, all kinds of other vaccines in it now too) because I was probably due, and the nurse purposely did it in my left arm because "it'll hurt to lift it for a few days, you're gonna hate me." I barely felt it going in and I was like, huh, that's nothing. Except today, omg. It feels like someone punched me really hard in my tricep. Repeatedly. I keep looking at it expecting there to be a giant bruise there, and of course there isn't.
Couldn't we have just waited until I stepped on a rusty nail or something?
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