This is, apparently, some kind of reality TV show that I personally had never heard of until I came across shocked and disgusted mention of in someone else's blog. Here's the premise: the bride buys an expensive dress that is too small for her and a team of nutritionists, trainers, coaches, whatev, spend six weeks putting her through hell so she can go from like a size six to a size two and fit into it. Because, obviously, being as tiny as possible on Your Big Day is the most important thing in the universe.
Can I take a time out here to observe I don't understand the whole Your Big Day phenomenon anyway? Spending tens of thousands of dollars that could actually be an awesome down payment on a nice house or condo on some fugly white dress, some soon-to-be dead flowers, and a party for a bunch of people, only some of whom you actually like but all of whom you hope will write you checks big enough to make inviting them worthwhile, is an exercise in stupidity. But then again, I got married five months pregnant wearing...wait for it...wait for it...sweatpants (ha!) by a justice of the peace within spitting distance of the Seabrook nuclear reactor, so WTF do I know? (It's okay, you can take the time here to hum the banjo music from Deliverance and think, hmm, I just cannot imagine why *that* marriage didn't last.) But, anyway, the idea of a wedding being the most important day in a woman's life and therefore she needs to look and be treated like a princess may--may--just have made a tiny bit of sense back in the day when that was the crowning achievement of a girl's life and marriage was forever, but nowadays when women have careers and the chances of your marriage lasting hover around 50-50, it's (and I'll use again the only word applicable) stupid. But it only seems to be increasing.
Tangent over. Anyway, the blog entry I read about this show was particularly horrified that one of the trainers was yelling at the woman during her workout that the workout was an "infidelity inhibitor." Um, yeah. Okay. Perhaps for her, because after you spend 45 minutes on the elliptical machine you probably ain't gonna go right out and pick up random guys to bang. A person's gotta conserve *some* energy for wedding planning. But I don't think they meant it that way, y'know?
Do these people learn nothing from the tabloids? If there's one thing the whole Jennifer/Brad/Angelina debacle taught us all, it's that no matter how conventionally hot looking you are, it won't necessarily keep your husband's dick in his pants. C'mon now.
xoxo
6 comments:
Blogger just lost me a bee-you-tiful comment...
something to the effect that dicks swinging is one thing, but going out of your way to get hitched to one that might not prefer you the way you are would seem to be a 100% guarantee of ending up with one motivated to go looking for something that looks more like the wedding photo than what gets found in the bed every night.
Only logical conclusion is that these women have zero interest in sex after marriage, and the skinny pics just prove it.
Though the last and overriding thought is to point out that MA 5 months preggers and in sweats would most likely mean even more magnificent breasts than usual, and there could be nothing but teeth-gnashing regret down the road for tossing that over in favor of a solitary and miserable life without them, and her.
(Someone should make a movie about THAT).
And people have always wondered why Ive always said I wanted to elope if I ever got engaged. This is part of the reason. Weddings are stoopid.
It is amazing, and somewhat sickening what constitutes "reality" TV now. Does the world *really* need another show about brides...drug addicted celebrities either trying to find love or trying to get clean, but mostly just trying to find ways to not get cuaght using again while in supposed rehab...and last but not least...another Rock of Love? Does Bret Michaels really think hes going to find true love with neurotic bimbos??
This is why Im thinking of cancelling cable. LOL
Pardon me for adding another rant...the network this is on is WeTV..Womens Entertainment Television...here is what their "Who We Are" section states:
About WE tv: WE tv (www.WEtv.com) is the premier source for women looking to satisfy their curiosity with fascinating, original stories and entertaining, informative content that is relevant to key stages of their lives. WE tv's programming gives viewers compelling perspectives on women's lives that range from provocative to extraordinary, including signature series like "Bridezillas" and critically-acclaimed original documentary series such as "High School Confidential." WE tv's public affairs initiative, WE Empowers Women, is dedicated to creating programs that foster and celebrate women's strength, confidence and diversity. WE tv is available in HD and WE tv On Demand is available in 20 million homes. WE tv is a subsidiary of Rainbow Media Holdings LLC.
They seem to have forgotten their public affairs initiative and gone for the ratings. Instead of showing programs that feature strong stable healthy empowered women, or programs to help women become them...theyve opted for the easy way to get viewers...stoopid reality TV.
*sighs*
It's a ritual that I do not get. (Disclaimer, I am the father of a daughter and in traditional circles I have a certain bias here.) Back in my day we had more or less hippie weddings, when the couple being married spent what little was spent themselves: just a cut up from sweatpants.
If such shows are reality, no wonder we're so f**ked up.
Sorry, it's *your* rant: no more hijacking!
Oh, no, everyone please feel free to chip in with your own particular brand of disgust for this stoopidity, because it's obviously so stoopid in so very many ways!
Yes, I have hijacked your rant(s)my demands are massive doses of chocolate.
Sorry,will keep my rants on my own blog, where they belong. :)
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