charity, again

A friend told me a story yesterday about how, because her husband won a large amount of money in fantasy football (?), she was able to give some for Christmas presents to a couple of teenage girls of her acquaintance who were living in tough circumstances and otherwise wouldn't have had much of a holiday. And how she felt that karma had paid her back, because through someone else's kindness to her, she recouped much of that money. I was going to say that was one of the more satisfying types of charity, when you hear about someone whose situation touches you and you're able to spontaneously do something about it.

Except then I started thinking about my own experience in this realm. Several years ago I had a (not close) younger friend. She worked for a non-profit; her girlfriend, with whom she lived, taught martial arts or something. They were not rolling in the proverbial dough by any means. And they had this fabulous cat. This cat was Mr Personality. Everyone loved this cat.

Well, one day the cat escaped from the house and got hit by a car, suffering some major, though thankfully non-fatal, injuries. The cat's owner was giving a bunch of us at an event an update on how the cat was doing, and she started talking about the incredible vet bills they had and how they had no idea how they were going to pay them off. It was the holidays. Everyone loved that cat. We felt bad. So a couple of us spontaneously sent our friend fairly large checks afterwards to help with the vet bills.

Nice, right? Warm and fuzzy, right? Good karma, right?

Then, six or nine months later, the friend bought a very cute, fairly expensive, and brand new car. And I really thought, WTF? You have no qualms about accepting money from your friends to pay your vet bills, but you also have no qualms about taking on that large a car payment, so really, how broke are you? I knew then, and I know now, that that was a really petty thought and totally opposite to any charitable impulse. I tried really hard to just let it go and be satisfied that what I had done was a good thing and my own choice.

But it's just another example of how charity is not a simple thing. For most of us. I guess.

xoxo