I'm recycling. Apparently it's ecology day here at The Adventures. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry. It's not you, it's me. Ha!)
Now, onto business. My boss just informed me this morning that with Albert Pujols' new contract, he will be making $63,000 every day for the next ten years. Not every day he plays baseball. Every day that he is breathing. "How could you even spend that much money?" I mused. We agreed it would be difficult, but that we'd like to try. Just for, like, a year. No need to be greedy.
My boss also told me that Albert has a kid with Downs, so he has a Downs charity. We thought that was a good way for him to spend some of his moolah. Also, he should be tipping every cab driver and every waitress he comes into contact with with hundred dollar bills. That's what we would do. E said that he himself would buy a private plane so he could say screw the TSA. I would buy beachfront property, plus a really nice apartment right in town (maybe Man-well's old place?). And a sailboat, that I would then hire someone to sail for me. I don't want to learn how to sail, I just wanna go out onto the ocean in the summer and lie in the sun and swim off the side and drink. Swimming *before* drinking, yo. Safety first! And of course I would give to charity and take care of my friends and loved ones. I'm not a douche.
Ahhh, it's been nice daydreaming with all y'all. But for now Mr Pujols will continue to make more in a day than I do in a year. Sigh. If only I had been born the other gender, maybe my Bulgy Polish Catcher's Thighs would have gotten me somewhere in pro athletics.
xoxo
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