So, last night after I had had three...possibly four, I lost track...glasses of vinho verde and my son was napping on the couch with his belleh full of chocolate molten lava cake instead of amusing me with Scrabble, I amused myself. (This is, I may say, one of the most useful parts of being an only child. You learn at a very young age to amuse yourself. Comes in handy.) What'd you do, Andrea? Well, kids, I watched many many different youtube clips purporting to teach me how to change out my own light fixtures. They all agreed that this is an extremely simple procedure that any moron can do in, like, 15 minutes or less. In my semi-drunken state, I agreed that, yes!, it looks moron-proof.
So then I spent tons more time looking at flushmount fixtures online so I can replace the ones in the hallway I just painted. (One of them is fairly non-offensive other than the shiny brass 80s trim on it; the other is the ugliest thing you will have ever seen, unless you also saw the chandelier that used to hang over my dining room table until I had the new pretty one put in a couple years ago--that thing was even more heinous.) I am thinking of replacing both of them with these:
Boob lights. I am really not overly fond of boob lights, but your choices of simple, inexpensive flushmount lights suitable for a hallway are not extensive. Most of them are boob lights. Or they are these:
which are basically the same as the non-offensive one that's already up there, in a different finish. All well and good, but I hate changing the lightbulbs in those things. Hate. Thinking the boob light might be easier.
Anyway, I went to my favorite store today to look at what they have not on the internet in way of lighting and while I was there, I bought something that some, but not all, of the youtube videos told me I should have for this job: a voltage detector. Just in case flipping the breaker didn't really work. Or something. I dunno how that could happen, but better safe than sorry and it only costs $15 and it is a cool tool. Fool n' her money, blah blah fucking blah. I also looked at new toilet seats because my son cracked his, but didn't buy one because when I was standing there in the aisle I could not swear to you what shape the old one is. I was 90% sure it was "elongated" rather than round, but there was the little nagging seed of doubt. Then I wandered down another aisle I usually don't go in and what did I find but new registers for the heat. I want some of those too! But, again, I couldn't tell you by eyeballing what size all the different ones I have are, so I need to whip out my tape measure and return at another time.
Provided I don't electrocute myself first.
Love n' kisses,
Any Moron
xoxo
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