...when you tell a friend in email "I swear to god, if she tells me ripping it all out is an option, I'll be like, 'sure! let's do it!'" because a few short hours later you may in fact be in stirrups while a very chic and pleasant gynecologist cheerfully informs you that she's going to have to grab ahold of your cervix and pull down on it.
Seriously, "rip it all out" was not meant to be taken literally, Universe.
xoxo
11 comments:
The rest of that header being"...what you wish for. You might get it?"
Does this sort of procedure make for happy parts? And of course, I'm wondering what the CPT code for that might be.
Anything they advise you to do "labor breathing" through does not generally result in happy parts. Um, IME. hahaha
Metrosexual M Magazine chic, or Vogue Chick chic? I personally try desperately every day to be a better person so as not to run into the karma bus, and/or something like this at the urologists and/or proctologists in a few years. On the other hand, you'll have this memory to fall back upon when your next plumber tries to tell you he doesn't see any source for the dripping, and you quite happily feel motivated to rip him a new one, as they say in the medical profession.
(Ouch... Sorry to hear it).
Vogue chic! We had a lovely conversation about the adorable bling-y wedge sandals she was wearing, which she told me the brand of (but which I forget) and that they came from Nordstrom but they "weren't that expensive!" and which are *so* comfortable she can stand and/or walk around all day in them at work.
(What do dudes bond with their urologists over? Football?)
Okay, here's my gynecologist's sandals (or a very similar style from the same brand):
http://tinyurl.com/n34fc8
Yes, very cute, but not typical urologist wear, except after hours at certain exclusive clubs. OTOH, I have met a female urologist. As for bonding, the male ones always seem to be into golf, which I can only lie about.
My urologist was all on about the cremasteric reflex, and whether or not he'd let me go without a general for the vasectomy. (Apparently a lot of guys get kinda twitchy about other guys swashbuckling around down there with sharp metal instruments). Maybe that was because I don't play golf. Of course, there was also a brief discussion about motivational aids to facilitate the sterility test... (Both of us decrying spousal reluctance to be directly involved in such things).
Now, see, that's the kind of thing I will never understand about other women. I'd be all about helping out in the name of science.
(P.S. If I knew you were going to publicly discuss your vasectomy in here, I'd have made my other good joke yesterday. But I decided to err in favor of caution and not throwing away everything I know about discretion and medical privacy in service of a cheap laugh :-))
If you're my massage therapist, wouldn't that mean you were sworn to HIPA secrecy? (And i'll leave jokes about happy endings and "the reach-around" for your other readers). But let's just say you are to be lauded for your dedication to science and the spirit of hippocrates. ("when performing a reach-around, primum non nocere").
Do you *see* me discussing your fascia with anyone? Do you? Huh? Huh?
hahahaha
Returning to Mr B's point about getting twitchy when other guys have a go at your parts with sharp, pointy things, it makes me wonder exactly how that female urologist made a living. OK...I won't go there if you don't, and I do know that urology isn't exclusively a guy thing. Still, procedures starting with "vaso" are the bread and butter of the trade.
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