Saturday, October 4, 2008

oh, hi, kids

Did you notice I finally shut up for a little while?

As much as I would like to take credit for that myself, I'll have to admit it's partly because I've had some computer problems at home and, for instance, yesterday had no internet access at all. (I really don't know how I went through life fifteen years ago because a day without the internet is like a day without orgasms. Or something like that.) And, can I just say, that paying for overnight shipping when they don't actually plan on shipping my part till Monday pisses me *right* off? I mean, I realize that I will still get it much faster once they put it in the box than I would have otherwise, but put it in the box now, okay? Grr.

Anyway! While sadly being unable to check my email, get irritated with Rate My Space, see the latest lolcats, or scope out what all of you were up to, I had to fall back on entertaining myself with one of my actual books. I think I talked in here last year about Home Comforts when I bought it, because while it is a very useful and even quite engaging reference book, the author is such a clean-freak germophobe whacko that you just want to send the poor woman some Prozac in a care package so she can give up on the obsession with dust mites. She's really kind of hilariously over the top on that subject, amongst others.

Well, I was rereading part of it yesterday, and something she said just neatly tied in with some stuff (you guys know) I've been thinking about and talking about and writing about. She was discussing how one's bedroom is where one gets naked both literally and figuratively, and that in order for us to be able to cast aside the outside world and the day to day worries that consume us so that we might relax, rest, romance, and sleep--the things our bedrooms are intended for--our bedrooms must be set up and decorated in a way that makes *us* most happy and comfortable and at home. Not according to what anyone else might like or approve of or suggest, but what speaks to us individually.

So, yeah, she's singing my song.

On the other hand, there may just be some lines that shouldn't be crossed. On one of those HGTV shows the other day, they were redoing a couple's bedroom who had on one nightstand their FAX machine and on the other a file folder of their bills and correspondence. I would suggest this is a bad idea, no matter who you are or what your aesthetic tastes might be. No one relaxes better or has more satisfying sex when their FAX machine is 18 inches from the back of their head.

Similarly, there was an old posting on Rate My Space that I came across the other day in which the poster was being taken to task by (some ignorant) people for his choice of art above the bed. It was what was obviously an original painting done in a pulp-magazine style, which was actually quite in keeping with the style of the guy's mid-century modern room but which also was "real" art. It was obviously a painting that the owner saw and said, "hey, that's really cool, I need to have that," not, "oh, that matches the drapes." So, the subject matter of this pulp-style painting was a naked woman with two clothed men***. That flipped a whole bunch of people right out, and they felt compelled to complain that it was tasteless, kinky, and inappropriate. People who were defending it made the very valid point that it was, y'know, art, and that omg, if you can't have a nude painting *in your bedroom* they better get all those nekkid pictures out of the museums right now. But--and this is the point of this whole digression, swear to god there is one--one of the defenders made what I thought was another very good and also hilarious point. She said something along the lines of, "Good for you! We have pictures of my mom and grandmother in the bedroom. It's a wonder we actually managed to have children." So, yeah, while I see nothing wrong with (see previous posts) anyone putting up family pictures in the dining room or anywhere else they damn well please, I have to admit that large and prominently displayed photos of your parents or your children in the bedroom might not just be the optimal setting for, y'know, doin' it. So, keep that in mind if you are decorating. That's my helpful hint for this week.

***the owner of the bedroom/painting posted afterwards that it was entitled "Samantha and the Two Darrins" and, if you looked closely, goddamn it if it wasn't. That's so mid-century modern I could die.

xoxo

2 comments:

Uncle said...

In my pre-fallen catholic days, I used to wonder how people made so many babies with the Virgin Mary or a bleeding Christ figure staring down on them during the manufacturing process. I think naked women are much better.

malevolent andrea said...

A good point! I hadn't thought of that, but yes, I remember from my childhood that some of my aunts had, like, lurid pictures of the sacred bleeding heart of Jesus and such in their bedrooms, and though that meant nothing to me then, now strikes me as something that would definitely *at the least* cause you to have teh sex with all the lights out and probably the covers over your head. My goodness.