I've been looking at other people's decorating again, and since no one's bribed me sufficiently to shut up about it, you get to hear more disgruntlement!
1.) If I see one more dining room painted red, or even orange, I may have to hurt someone. Apparently someone somewhere published the "fact" that those are the optimal colors for stimulating the appetite and now 3.4 million Americans have red dining rooms. I have nothing against red, but the ubiquity of it stuns. Besides, who says I want to stimulate my guests' appetites so much? I might run out of food, yo.
2.) Next up in the ubiquity stakes! Four out of five teenaged or early 20-something women have that Target picture of Audrey Hepburn in their bedrooms. (I know it's from Target, I've seen it there.) If I didn't know better, I'd think there'd been some kind of statute passed requiring it or something. Again, I'm an Audrey fan, and a Breakfast at Tiffany's fan, but you can find *other* likenesses of the woman to put on your walls if you must. It's not like she was never photographed.
3.) If anyone posts any room that's the least bit "girly", especially a bedroom, the snark starts flying about how the poster must not be married (which, I guess, is shock! horror!) and/or that a man's head would explode if he entered it. In defending someone else from this charge, a woman commented that her husband has said he likes feeling like he's in a woman's bedroom. I thought that was fascinating. I never thought of that before, but it's got to be one of those things that some guys imprint on in adolescence. You know, like going to bed with your ::yawn:: wife/girlfriend in a room she's made frilly, floral, and foofy is spiced up because of erotic associations with, say, sneaking into your high school girlfriend's frilly, foofy bedroom. (I suppose that means there's gonna be a whole new generation of men who can only get it up when a cheap print of Audrey Hepburn is staring down at them, god help us.)
That's it for now.
xoxo
6 comments:
How then do women react to a knotty pine bedroom with antlers on the wall and carved ducks in suggestive postures?
Don't be silly. To really drive the girls wild you need a stuffed bass. And some fishing lures.
I dunno..a moose or deer head always gets me goin'.
NOT!
Apparently Sarah Palin's men get all amorous underneath stuffed moose heads...
Else why would she go out and shoot them?
It's all in the horns, I guess.
Men? Men??!???
She's a Christian. I'm sure she was a virgin on her wedding day and ol' Todd's the only one who has known her in the biblical sense. And she lies there beneath the moosehead and thinks of Eng--I mean, America! She thinks of America. And the flag! Until it's over with.
:-)
Well, given her daughter's obvious inability to keep her own abstinence pledge I wouldn't bet too strongly on Carbou Barbie's intact state on her wedding night.
You know what they say, "like mother, like daughter". We can only imagine just what Sarah did to win "Miss Congeniality."
Besides, haven't you heard the rumors around the liberal blogpsphere that she had an affair with Todd's business partner?
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