So, I'm watching reruns of House Hunters which should really be called Spoiled American Gits, if there were any truth-in-television-show-names laws at all. Here's a couple in Minnesota with a baby under a year old walking into a prospective home and looking at the "sunroom" which is the size of my dining room and living room put together. "Oh, honey! This could be the baby's playroom!"
No, you stoopid spoiled American git, your baby does not need a "playroom" the size of many people's studio apartments.
They go upstairs and look at the bedrooms and bathrooms. "Do you think all the baby's things will fit in this room, snookums?"
How many "things" does a friggin six-month-old have, other than what goes in the ginormous playroom? Need lots of closet space so his Hugo Boss suits don't get crushed, do we?
And the master bath is a sad disappointment. "It looks ::sniff:: like the bathroom in a camper, doesn't it?"
It doesn't have double sinks. Spoiled American Gits don't use the same sinks as their spouses these days, you know. You may stick your parts in their orifices and vice versa, but you wouldn't want to spit toothpaste in the same basin they do.
Nevertheless, this is the house the Spoiled American Gits decide to buy. In the follow-up visit, x months later, they have repainted the red walls in the kitchen--the only thing that gave their McMansion any character at all--off white.
Not only are they Spoiled American Gits, they are tasteless douches. I worry for that baby.
xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment