things i have seen in my travels

...over the past 36 hours or so.

1.) Little girl on the bus with her young and douchebag-looking father. (I am sorry, but were we not making fun of K-Fed 5 years ago for the manpris that reached the crew socks and the sideways baseball cap? This dude apparently did not get the memo. I don't care how hiphop you think you are, dressing like that makes you look like an idiot. And that goes double if you are white. You want to emulate a rapper's style? Try Jay-Z. There is no occasion for which either a.) a simple black hoodie or b.) an extremely well-tailored suit is inappropriate.) ANYWAY, to my point, this little girl, maybe four or so, was absolutely adorable, but with a very grave and serious little face and manner. Kind of like I imagine, without any evidence thereof, that I was at that age. Her father was apparently offering/promising to take her to IHOP the next morning and asked if she would like pancakes. She would. What kind? "With a face. Wif the eyes..." Points to own eyes. "...the nose..." Ditto. "...and the mouf." And ditto. "I will share them wif you." I almost died of the cuteness. And in my evil, bitter heart, I could only think that this douchebag she wanted to lovingly share her pancakes with was gonna disappoint the hell out of her sooner or later. This is why clothing matters, kids. Don't present yourself in such a manner that strangers are forced to question your parenting skills and/or good intentions.

2.) My son almost walk in front of a bus. Not only did he scare the crap out of me and the bus driver, he traumatized the poor young woman next to us who was also trying to cross the street and who literally screamed when I had to grab him back onto the curb. Why did this happen? Because we were running a few minutes late to his appointment and he was so anxious about possibly being late--like five minutes late--that the second the traffic appeared to clear, he was going to cross against the light. Sigh.

3.) A small furniture store with signs in the window advertising living rooms, bedrooms, and dinning rooms. Now, considering the part of town where this store is located, it is entirely possible, maybe even probable, that English is not the first language of the owners of the business. But the sign company too? Is there no quality control these days? Has no one pointed this error out to them? And if they have, why have the owners not demanded the sign company fix it? Are they trying to make me upset? (Yes, it is all about me.)

Hope you are all enjoying your Monday. Don't be a douchebag, stay out of traffic, and use spellcheck!

xoxo