Sunday, June 26, 2011

inner geek wins out over inner hippie

Instead of buying Ganesha, I broke down and bought one of these on sale for $119.99, free shipping and no tax. I have wanted one for months and months and months, basically ever since I heard of their existence, and my longing has only increased as I was introduced to the internet cult of users. I was actually trying to explain to Mr Indemnity last week what these are, with only marginal success, but basically you wear it 23 hours a day and it will tell you exactly how many calories you expended, minute by minute, when you sync it on the website. It also tells you how many hours you slept (as opposed to how many hours you *think* you slept), how many steps you took, etc.

The internet cultists have reported fascinating results, mainly that they're burning more calories than they think they're burning, that you burn a shit ton more calories walking around shopping and doing errands and stuff in the house than you do actually formally exercising, that the more you eat, the more you burn (your metabolism is smarter than you are!) and that, as recent scientific studies have posited, fidgeting really does make a big difference in your expenditure.

The drawback to my buying this now, instead of 8 months ago, (too cheap to pay full price, yo) is that I will commence wearing it in, y'know, weather that sometimes calls for sleeveless clothing. However, I have it planned out. If anyone should ask me what it is, I intend to look at them very gravely, complete poker face, and say, "Court ordered. Don't want to talk about it." Ha!

There is one sad thing, though. In my pathetic celibate state, I do not foresee finding out the answer to how many calories I burn during sex any time soon! ("Are you sexually active?" "No, doctor, mainly I just lie there.") That's a pity.

xoxo

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