That could apply to a lot of things this week, but Ima just discuss one.
I don't know whether I discussed it in the blog or not, but in debating the pros and cons of getting a kindle, Mr Indemnity and I mused that one of the pros was the ability to bring pr0n--excuse me, EROTICA--anywhere and read it in public without embarrassing oneself. A small point in the kindle's favor, but a point nevertheless. Well, yesterday, after owning my device for six months, I broke down and for $1.99, bought myself a piece of literary smut. As an experiment. And because I needed a little inspiration last night, if you know what I mean and I'm sure you lot do. And this is my reaction:
Are you fucking kidding me?
People buy and sell this stuff? I am very sure that with the right amount of effort (i.e. barely none) I could have found for free, on the internet, "erotica" of similar literary merit (i.e. absolutely none.) [But it got its job done in the inspiration department, so what the hell am I complaining about?] The idea that I could, if I were the enterprising type, just write down a bunch of my sordid sexual fantasies without any attention to plausibility, plot, characterization, or for godsake, spelling, slap them up on kindle self-publishing under a pseudonym and get people looking for wank material to pony up $1.99 for them is both tantalizing and upsetting. As you all know, I have written smut, but it was smut that was labored over with as much care as any other piece of fiction I ever wrote. They were actual stories***. I couldn't write one in a couple of free hours, is what I'm saying.
But, having crossed the self-respect line far enough to purchase this shiz for my kindle, could I cross the self-respect line a little further and bang out (unintentional pun, I swear to god) this dreck for money? Lord knows, extra money for very little effort would be awesome. You kids know I like to buy stuff and I don't use credit. But this is the writing equivalent of prostitution, I fear, and more the crack ho than the high-class escort type. I'm really tempted and yet horrified by being tempted.
xoxo
***my very favorite review of anything I ever wrote was by a somewhat well-known genre writer who, in his blog, said the story I had published in the erotica webzine his also somewhat famous author wife was editing was so good that it wasn't until after you finished it that you realized that it was kinda, technically, furry pr0n. Heh. [It was a takeoff on Goldilocks and the Three Bears, dudes. Papa and Mama Bear were status-conscious yuppies and Goldilocks was their internet sex slave. It was hilarious. But with dirty parts. It took a while to write. There was a lot of pointed satire in with the wank material. That's all I'm sayin'.]
4 comments:
A friend of mine here in Lowell has a job reviewing porn for the Playboy Channel. If only to have something with which to compare in conversation with him, I'd be all for proofreading. To where do we send our resumes?
1.) Reviewing porn for the Playboy Channel is an actual job? What does one do to get a gig like that? It's gotta involve nepotism or something.
2.) Resume??!??! Mr Barma, we all know that you can spell and that you never end a sentence with a preposition. Whatever else qualifications would you need?
3.) You look for beta readers for your important work of serious literary fiction and everyone's "too busy." You mention writing down sordid sexual fantasies *and it's a different story*. hahahaha
Hell, I'd do it, but two things have held me back (neither principled).
The first is the competition from free sleaze. In my dumps, this ranks as excuse #1.
The second is attention span: not the readers', mine. Maybe I should pop one of the Levitra tabs my PCP insists I have, then sit down at the keyboard, because this might be a literary cousin of erectile dysfunction.
Your lack of principles may motivate me :-)
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