Sunday, May 8, 2011

important questions before my date

...with the feds.

1.) Do you think i could smuggle my phone into the courthouse inside my bra or something? Would it set off the metal detectors? Would I then be frisked and/or strip-searched by men in uniforms? Would they be handsome? Would I like it? Sigh.

2.) Did you know I got a reminder phone call from them? Be there, be square, bring your summons and ID, no electronic devices, no beverages. But beverages WILL be provided in the jurors' lounge. As I *just* told Mr Indemnity in email, my federal government wants me to be hydrated. Fuckers.

3.) Since I apparently cannot bring my kindle, I must bring an actual paper book with me. Do you think Black Mass, the true story of an unholy alliance between the FBI and the Irish Mob is a good choice? You do know I'm not going to be able to resist, right?

4.) Do you think my distaste for this whole matter is going to push me over the edge into becoming a Libertarian? (We'll rule out "Tea Partier" just 'cause I'm crazee, NOT stupid.)

5.) I need a massage. That's not a question. Deal.

xoxo

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